this post was submitted on 14 Sep 2023
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I think this is pretty universal. It’s not an adhd thing, it’s more that our “accomplishments” in the system that dictates our lives are not real accomplishments. They’re expectations from some unwritten rule book of “standard capitalist life.” So, so many of them are meaningless to us, but the expectation that we get them done is palpable. You feel it from everyone: family, friends, even strangers. And when you don’t do them, you’re seen differently by those around you. That doesn’t mean anything except that they’re empty societal rituals that everyone else had to do, so they expect you to do them too.
They’re not bringing you any spiritual or personal fulfillment. They’re just getting the expectation off your back. This is not anything to do with any sort of neurodivergence. It’s literally just being a person in modern society.
While this is true, I still felt like this even when I made actual accomplishments. OP might be like me.
The only times I was genuinely proud of myself were when I didn't even try and still got extremely good results for something. If I prepare for something, when I do success in achieving it, it just feels like it was supposed to happen anyway.
It might be helpful to reframe what made you proud. Like you said, putting in the effort up front means you expect to do well. But you should be proud of your preparation which enabled you to be successful.
It’s easy to fixate on the end goal (eg doing well on a test) and ignore all the little steps that got you there (going to class, doing your homework, studying).
Any tips on where to start with switching your mindset?
Anything you can do to remind yourself of the journey and progress along the way helps. Thinking about someone’s weight loss journey the end goal is to hit an ideal weight, but the regular weigh ins, tracking progress at the gym, and reduced calorie counts help give perspective to the bigger picture.
I’m very much a data/visualization so your mileage may vary. Hope that helps spark some ideas!