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submitted 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago) by [email protected] to c/[email protected]

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I have a few questions on how to best behave to be as welcoming and inclusive as possible without sounding bad. I hope you guys don't hate me.

I'm just a straight male. Are my pronouns he/him? Is that how I should tell people? Do you actually tell them as you meet them ? Do I have to wait for a certain social cue ?

How about online. Should I tell people or have it on my personal profile somewhere?

And about respecting other people's pronouns. How do i figure them out ? Is it a big faux pas if I don't before I know them ? Is it a faux pas if I refer to someone I just met and I assumed to be male as he/him?

I've never seen anyone referring to anyone irl by non conventional pronouns. Is it an actual thing or is it currently being pushed to make the world a more inclusive place?

I'd love some help with all of this.

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[-] [email protected] 61 points 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago)

Cis allies usually put pronouns in their bios to show support and normalize the act itself of specifying then online. IRL since you are cis and I asume you look masculine there is no need to specify your pronouns.

Just whenever you meet someone and they tell you to talk to them in a specific way, just do it and respect their pronouns. Its easy. Most people dont care if you get it wrong the first times as long as you acknowledge your mistake and correct yourself, your brain will get used to it and you will not make the mistake later. That's the different between someone who is learning and an idiot purposefully misgendering someone.

BTW if you arent sure about someone elses pronouns, just ask them. Easy.

[-] [email protected] 17 points 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago)

IRL since you are cis and I asume you look masculine there is no need to specify your pronouns.

I disagree with this. It's better not to assume or encourage people to assume pronouns. It's better to use they/them when you're not sure. Most of the time you can learn people's pronouns contextually, by hearing how other people refer to them.

Otherwise, it's better to use they/them unless you have evidence otherwise. Looks isn't evidence. It's not the worst thing to assume once and be wrong, but if you're aiming for inclusivity it's better to not assume

[-] [email protected] 10 points 9 months ago

Yeah. Good point. But I think OP shouldn't worry about specifying his pronouns IRL, but what you say is a good general approach.

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this post was submitted on 18 Sep 2023

166 points (81.4% liked)

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