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submitted 3 weeks ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]

Could be a partner, roommate, coworker, or somebody you volunteered with. They could have stopped for any reason from leaving, getting sick or hurt or even dying to just getting sick of doing that one thing and stopping.

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[-] [email protected] 70 points 3 weeks ago

Yeah, we really don't notice all the bullshit our parents deal with when we're kids.

[-] [email protected] 34 points 3 weeks ago

I've got a kid who is nearly out of school. There's a real sense that his idea of the future is eternal summer vacation at his parents' house earning just enough money to hang out with friends. It's a struggle to decide how to deter that pattern of behavior. As parents we want to be able to do anything for our kids, but we also need to do what's best for them, not just what they want.

The kid is going to learn a lot about what we do to keep the house in reasonable order and stocked for life. We've been trying to teach that as we go, but it doesn't always seem to sink in.

[-] [email protected] 4 points 3 weeks ago

Will they be able to afford their own place and have access to healthcare? I've got siblings that have failed to launch even after several attempts. It's possible this isn't a failure of parenting.

But if it is fixable, you may want to check out William Glasser's writings on the workless (I forget what books of his he writes about it in). Be warned that it's not mainstream psychology and I don't generally think that his views on medication and several other things are good, but the specific ideas about how to deal with a household member that doesn't contribute or take care of themselves might have something useful for you. From what I can remember, it's things like making ingredients available but not prepared foods so they get into the habit of doing things. (Naturally, this is a super bad idea if there's a different issue like depression that should be dealt with first.) That may be difficult to do with apps and streaming services where there's very little between a person and food/entertainment, but you might get some new ideas.

[-] [email protected] 5 points 3 weeks ago

It's still early days on them being in a position to afford a place, and in the US healthcare is a fucking abomination, so it's going to take some real effort to reach a point of independence.

We're in no hurry to move anyone out. It's still early enough that we planet of time to wire in work on skills and such. I'm mostly worried about the general attitude more than individual skills though. His sense of what it takes to keep yourself afloat in the world and little open desire to achieve independence is just worrying at this point. Likely I'm being too worried at this stage, but I'd rather turn the ship in a positive direction earlier and easier rather than later and with more difficulty.

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this post was submitted on 04 Jun 2024
157 points (98.8% liked)

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