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On a more serious note... try to be a bit kinder to yourself today. You're not lazy, you're doing your damn best.
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this post was submitted on 03 Aug 2023
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It's constant and relentless. I am what some people call "gifted" but it never really feels that way. I have a good job that bores me to death and a battle so hard all day to make it work. I'm good at lots of different things, from programming, to music production, to writing, to building things, but I can't devote any meaningful amount of time to any of them, and I neglect all the important aspects of my life. My physical and mental health are fucked, I'm in debt for no good reason, and at this point I think my adhd meds make it worse, but if I don't take them I'm basically in a comatose state. It's honestly no wonder that we're statistically likely to die 10 years earlier than average.
I think work is the reason that you are unable to devote a meaningful amount of time to things that energize you.
If society was structured so that we didn't need to work/grow constantly, we would have so much more time to tap into the vibrations of the universe and create art/music.