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Have you ever apologized to someone you wronged for a very long time, or received an unexpected apology in a similar way? (mander.xyz)

submitted 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago) by [email protected] to c/[email protected]

48 comments fedilink hide all child comments

Such a long title.

Basically I'm wondering if this happens IRL, and how. I've heard countless stories of people who hold a grudge against family members /ex partners/ ex friends/ neighbours etc. for years, and they do horrible things to each other. Or maybe just the cold shoulder can be rough especially for such a long time. But not so many stories of people in these situations who suddenly talk things out unexpectedly, out of their own will and not because they kept getting nagged about whatever happened.

I've also heard about people who screw up big once, never acknowledge or apologize, then everyone puts the episode behind and moves on. But I've never heard about suddenly this person perhaps decades afterwards just actually addressing their screw up and apologizing.

So, have you ever received one of these big, unexpected apologies? Or have you ever apologized for something you did you never thought you would want or dare to apologize for?

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[–] [email protected] 23 points 10 months ago (3 children)

I ran into one of my school bullies a few years later on a walk, didn't even recognize the guy at first. He did apologize for back then and said he was a dick. Didn't really do anything for me to be honest, but I accepted it at least and went my way.

One apology I wish I had gotten but never did: I was the designated driver for a friend (and a friend of his), just hanging out, bit of drinking, but I'm not a big fan of bars. It got late and I just wanted to go home at that point, so we got into the car. I was going to drop them off where they wanted and now suddenly my friend (sitting next to me) wanted to pick up and annoy yet another friend of his (detour and I just wanted to drop them off at that point). I said no, I'm not picking up another friend at this point.

When I wanted to do a right turn the guy grabbed the steering wheel and tried to go left towards the other friend. Had to stop the car, luckily we weren't going fast and it was inside the town. I got pissed, dropped them off where originally agreed upon and drove home. Wasn't the first time either that he reached over to the steering wheel, but last time he just got annoyed at a dick on the road and used my horn (while I'd have just let it go).

Well, never got an apology, so I just stopped talking with the guy. Years later he wrote me again, we talked a bit and I brought up that I was still annoyed from him grabbing the wheel back then. He thought it's so long ago, why do I still make a big deal out of it? Super annoying.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 10 months ago (1 children)

Oh man, I despise when people think that shit doesn't need an apology if time has passed. Time passing doesn't mean I think youve changed as a person, you need to show that to me, and expecting someone to forgive things when nothing's been done to repair that is its own problem.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 10 months ago

Yep, all it would have taken was a small "Sorry, shouldn't have done that" and it would be all good. He had a few beers at that point (not super drunk, but a buzz), so even more excusable, not that drinking is an excuse for anything.

Either way, I wouldn't have trusted him to be in the same car I'm driving at that point. Entitled prick, maybe next time if he wants to stop somewhere random he might pull the handbrake.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 10 months ago (1 children)

He grabbed the steering wheel? That's so dangerous. I would have kicked him out right there.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 10 months ago

Yep, at a T-junction (at night, very low speed, no other cars around), I started turning right, he wanted to go left, pushed the wheel left so we went straight towards a wall. I just hit the brake and stopped. Again, super low speed, so no risk of crashing (if I didn't slam the gas down), but still insane.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 10 months ago

Yay another point for repentant bullies! Thanks for sharing.

Sorry you didn't get an apology for the wheel grabbing. Sounds like a good riddance imo. Hope it doesn't stay annoying for too long.