this post was submitted on 06 Sep 2023
73 points (80.2% liked)

Asklemmy

42493 readers
1428 users here now

A loosely moderated place to ask open-ended questions

Search asklemmy ๐Ÿ”

If your post meets the following criteria, it's welcome here!

  1. Open-ended question
  2. Not offensive: at this point, we do not have the bandwidth to moderate overtly political discussions. Assume best intent and be excellent to each other.
  3. Not regarding using or support for Lemmy: context, see the list of support communities and tools for finding communities below
  4. Not ad nauseam inducing: please make sure it is a question that would be new to most members
  5. An actual topic of discussion

Looking for support?

Looking for a community?

~Icon~ ~by~ ~@Double_[email protected]~

founded 5 years ago
MODERATORS
 

So I am a part of the LGBTQ community and work in a big city in middle europe. A lot of my coworkers are religios and have a foreign background. They are mostly very nationalist and homo-/transphobic. I hate them for their blind hate and bigotry, which wont change. I have realised, that I have become a bit bigotred towards people like them in the last few months, which is, even tho my biases often revealed to be true, just unfair to them. How could I stop that?

you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments
[โ€“] [email protected] 18 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago)

Look, one thing you need to take away is there's a good chance not all of them actually feel that religion in their bones.

A lot of them are still "religious" because they're afraid of being judged by their peers, which in some of those cultures can go way beyond just shaming.

I had a friend who was an exchange student when I was in college. He was originally from Jordan and had struggled with his religion for a long time, and in his time in the US, felt like he was becoming atheist. He went home to Jordan to basically hide that fact from everyone he knows for the rest of his life because apostasy is illegal in Jordan. He could be stripped of his civil rights, his ability to get a job and lose all legal relationships with his family.

The issue of course is an authoritarian religious environment which punishes deviation from strict belief.

In my opinion, you do not have to like people who are using their belief to shun others. Their blind hatred and bigotry make them unworkable people to have relationships with. Does this mean every person from their country is like this? No. Does this mean every person even in that group you're talking about is like this, deep down? No, some of them may be way more open but are worried about attacks from within their own community.

My suggestion would be to do your best to be considerate and polite in a work context, but not have any relationship with them outside of work, and focus on the idea that not everyone from such a culture ends up so hateful and practicing jingoistic nationalism. My friend from Jordan is a bright, shining example of a kind, loving human who grew up in a culture that taught him to not be.

Blame the nationalism, blame the religion, blame the strict governance that forces these beliefs on people. The individuals are being taken advantage of by their religion and nation, even if they're not aware of it. It is their fault for not becoming better people, and you don't have to be friends with them or polite to them outside of work.

Anyway, personal opinion, forced beliefs aren't 100% on them, and we should be considering that some people have learned to be very, very good at hiding their real selves in this kind of environment.

You might someday find out that one person in that group really wants to escape it and become more open and less discriminatory and bigoted.

As for yourself, I don't think it's bigotry to recognize hate and bigotry for what they are. I do think you need to be able to stop and consider that not everyone from such a community is like the people you have experienced, although a vast majority of them may be like that.

Anyway, put the blame where it lies, on a religion and government that twists people in knots by leveling severe punishments for not being the "right" religion.