I wear UGG boots in winter because it's fucking cold.
I also wrap myself in a blanket on the couch, and have a lovely area rug so I don't have to walk on a cold floor. All these things are necessary to survive the winter; my house isn't well insulated.
The problem with all this, is that I build up a static charge. So when I go to pat my beautiful sweetheart of a dog, I zap him. It's audible and I'm sure, quite unpleasant. Often on the head. He obviously doesn't like that, I think he's taking it personally, and I feel awful. It completely cancels out the affection I'm trying to show him.
So the question for the Lemmy community is:
How do I discharge the static before I pat my dog? I have started shocking my partner (which he doesn't like, but accepts over the alternative), before patting my dog. But as he's out tonight, I have no human vessel to offer as tribute?
What can I touch in my house before patting my dog so that he doesn't receive a shock?
Edit: standard Australian house and furniture
Another edit: I'm all the sheets to the wind so the engineering advice is not sinking in. But I'm loving the immediate response that I'd never have gotten on Deaddit.
Again: I can't stop giggling at how helpful everyone is being and how short m, drunk and silly I am, in a house with apparently no metal
And again: I should probably take me and my baby to bed now, but a big thank you to everyone who replied. You've all been lovely. Lemmy is really a different space to ask these questions! I'll be trying out many of your suggestions over the weekend; big thanks from me and my boy x
Final: thanks to everyone who responded. I did try the kitchen tap again last night and this time it worked! Mustn't have built up enough charge when I tried the night I posted. I will still primarily zap my partner's leg as it's usually closer and doing it makes me laugh. It's important he understands where he fits in the household hierarchy as well. I also learnt that American houses are very different (screws and radiators everywhere!) so that was interesting too.
Order a giant metal statue of your dog to put pride of place in your home as an apology to the dog
As a bonus, it will function as something you can touch to earth yourself
alternatively you could try an anti-static wrist strap but i'm not sure it'll help since you still need something to ground it against
I like you
If you get the grounding box you can have an antistatic collar for the dog and a strap for the human. Plug both in and you're both at the same potential.
Alternatively the human can touch the banana plug side of the strap, as the in-built resistor will "slowly" equalize the charges between you. I say slowly because in human terms as soon as you touch its already done.
@boogetyboo
The ugg boots may be electrically isolating as well, so a heel-strap is typically worn in ESD environments to overcome insulated soles. In combination with a grounding floor mat, this works without having to think too much about it.
Additionally, you can get a humidifier and maintain a relative humidity above 40%. Thankfully you don't need insulation to do this!
Source: nasa esd training