Asklemmy

42525 readers

1104 users here now

A loosely moderated place to ask open-ended questions

Search asklemmy 🔍

If your post meets the following criteria, it's welcome here!

Open-ended question
Not offensive: at this point, we do not have the bandwidth to moderate overtly political discussions. Assume best intent and be excellent to each other.
Not regarding using or support for Lemmy: context, see the list of support communities and tools for finding communities below
Not ad nauseam inducing: please make sure it is a question that would be new to most members
An actual topic of discussion

Looking for support?

Looking for a community?

Lemmyverse: community search
sub.rehab: maps old subreddits to fediverse options, marks official as such
[email protected]: a community for finding communities

~Icon~ ~by~ ~@Double_[email protected]~

founded 5 years ago

MODERATORS

[email protected]

176

Ways to (temporarily) safeguard your room? (reddthat.com)

submitted 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago) by [email protected] to c/[email protected]

102 comments fedilink hide all child comments

A week ago, my mom figured out how to get through my bedroom door lock: using a screwdriver. I've heard her on a phone call with my uncle, and he showed her the trick. Whenever I don't respond or give in, she could just insert the screwdriver through my lock, and bam, she can come in whenever she wants to.

I've searched online for getting around this, and I've decided on:

Getting a lock. (or something that (b)locks the door)
- Using a portable lock. (Addalock, any others)
- Using a doorstop.
- Make your own lock. (like using a fork)

But then I thought that my mom would still enter using the screwdriver. The handle's loose, so she knows she's able to barge in. I could be wrong, though.

My door jamb has a dent, so she has a peephole to look in and might figure out why the door wouldn't open.

Should I be able to get a lock? If not, are there any alternatives or other solutions?

Edit: Wanted to make a quick edit. My mom shows narcissistic traits, and would barge in the room for her own entertainment. I've tried asking her to leave a few times, ~~even discussing about it with her,~~ but she isn't seeming interested to understand or listen. I would stay as far from her in my room in order to not attract her.

you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments

[–] [email protected] -1 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago) (1 children)

I think that if you require that level of privacy then you should consider getting your own place. You can't expect your parents to just let you do and have whatever you want in their home. Some parents can be overbearing but that's the price you pay for their support.

If you're a child then you need to understand that your parents are responsible for you legally and have every right to enter your room and go through your stuff. If that's a problem for you then you should consider not doing stuff they might not approve of.

Also, you're not a mental health professional and you cannot diagnose narcissistic traits. This is just you reaching for an excuse to justify your own lack of respect for the rules in your household.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 9 months ago

This is bunk, there's plenty of science to back up that having a safe space as well as unsupervised time is highly beneficial to healthy development in adolescents.

In several countries, the parent's behaviour is illegal and abusive, and would engender state child protections.

The weird notion that a child can't stop the abuser is somehow making it not abuse is sycophantic and, if acted upon, abusive in itself.