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So, on pronouns. (lemmy.ml)

submitted 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago) by [email protected] to c/[email protected]

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I have a few questions on how to best behave to be as welcoming and inclusive as possible without sounding bad. I hope you guys don't hate me.

I'm just a straight male. Are my pronouns he/him? Is that how I should tell people? Do you actually tell them as you meet them ? Do I have to wait for a certain social cue ?

How about online. Should I tell people or have it on my personal profile somewhere?

And about respecting other people's pronouns. How do i figure them out ? Is it a big faux pas if I don't before I know them ? Is it a faux pas if I refer to someone I just met and I assumed to be male as he/him?

I've never seen anyone referring to anyone irl by non conventional pronouns. Is it an actual thing or is it currently being pushed to make the world a more inclusive place?

I'd love some help with all of this.

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[–] [email protected] 20 points 9 months ago (2 children)

One thing I try to do as clueless old man is when I am writing a policy doc or instructions at work, I just stick with they/them.

Instructions on how to merge a branch in Git do not need gender specific pronouns.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 9 months ago

Yeah. That is just better.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 9 months ago (1 children)

I think this is the most basic change to make that simplifies everything. Particularly online, until you described yourself as an 'old man' I had no idea of your gender. Traditional language would mean even without this information I'd still refer to you with he/him pronouns, or broader terms like 'this guy' etc, but to be more welcoming to everyone, we should be starting out using generic they/them for everyone.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 9 months ago (1 children)

Normalize never neutral language. It's so easy to do and English has all the words to do it already. Thankfully we don't have to deal with gendered nouns like romance languages

[–] [email protected] 1 points 9 months ago

What do you mean by 'never neutral'?