this post was submitted on 18 Sep 2023
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I had never stopped to think about this. I guess the answer in my partícular case is I literally don't care which ones they use. Hm. Not sure what that means.
Thank you for the detailed comment.
Some people don't have internal gender feelings and just go with whatever they were assigned at birth out of convenience. I actually started that way and slowly drifted to feeling like my assigned gender much later in life.
Other times, someone realizing that is the first sign they're trans. If you ask a group of trans people, that'll probably be some of their origin stories. But I don't think it's actually that common overall (trans people are rare!). So what I'd recommend to you, and the other five people reading this that identify with your statement, is that you all sit down and think about your gender feelings a bit, so the trans one can get on with her life.
But anyway, pronouns options for the "assigned male but I don't care" crowd are he/him, he/them, they/them, he/him/any, and any. For that last one, in a crowd where people are saying pronouns, you'd just say "any pronouns are fine". (Long time hexbears know I used to rock the he/him/any.)
seconding this. i started as not caring. realised im non-binary but still don't really care. pronouns don't really bother me, as for me, how other people view and refer to me doesn't really affect my internal feelings on my gender. obviously this isn't the case for all trans people, some definitely want to be seen and referred to as their self-id gender.
Ahh I see, now I get it. I never quite understood the need for the (he/she/them) when meeting new groups because I always felt aggressively apathetic to my own pronouns; sort of a "I don't care what you call me it doesn't change my feeling of me". But your comment and this chain helped that click for me!