this post was submitted on 01 Aug 2023
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I'm going into my last year of college and I kinda felt like I did college wrong. Like, my grades are good but everything else about college I failed at. Like socially and stuff, after 4 years I barely know anybody. I commuted(to avoid debt, and did so successfully) so maybe that's part of my problem.

But I feel college was supposed to be special time in your life and to me it has been indifferent. :/Thoughts?

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[โ€“] [email protected] 12 points 11 months ago (2 children)

You may just be a bit more on the introverted side of the spectrum and that's normal. There are social expectations that we should "have lots of friends" and that college is a time to meet and hang out with people and do crazy stuff to think back on when we are in our 40s. I think those sentiments were created a few generations back when the cost of college wasn't necessarily a concern. But even you, who managed to do it so far without debt, had to think about the cost as a big factor and it impacted how you attended. Surprise! A bunch of young adults trying to get an education while being stressed about a potentially life-altering amount of debt and an uncertain future aren't really in the best place to be social and have fun. My point is don't blame yourself; the system is kind of fucked right now.

If you get your degree that's great, you'll have access to more doors in life and hopefully that means more free time to devote to things you already know you like and maybe some stuff you've yet to find out you like. If you feel like you want more friends, there are social clubs, discord servers, and meetups in towns/cities you can look into to find folks who are more or less aligned with your interests rather than your education level. There is still a lot about life you've yet to see and I think a not-so-great college experience won't be something you think about even a year after graduation.

[โ€“] [email protected] 3 points 11 months ago

Man thanks for the reminder, What influnced my choices was cost and bachelor's doesn't have as much strength in the job market it once has. If a more free and less stressful comes at a cost a social life early one so be it. Older me will hopefully appreciate the foresight. I need to put more work in cultivating a more full social life.

[โ€“] [email protected] 2 points 11 months ago

Excellent points, and I'll just add my own 2 cents.

I wouldn't stress. I went to Weber State in Ogden, Utah, and its really more of a commuter school. Plenty of people living off campus and working full-time. I didn't do a lot of parties or anything, but I had some good friends.

If you are happy, don't worry about it. If you know a few people and that's all you need, you're good. Besides, there is plenty more of life where you can have a funner time.

I didn't really start what I would call the 'best part' of my life till I met my wife at 27. I'm 34 and honestly enjoying it more than I did my 20's