this post was submitted on 10 May 2024
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How To Confound A Centaur

Centaur: Hold it right there, you can't just ride through my fields uncontested! I'll lose my credibility if we don't battle or something.

Me: That's fair. How about we–

Centaur: And it can't be a pun battle, I heard what you did to the sphinx.

Me: Darn. Okay, what if I beat you in a horse race?

Centaur: Ha! Alright, your funeral. Where's the finish line?

Me: That tree over there. Where's your horse?

Centaur: (gestures at horsey backside) Um...?

Me: You're not a horse, this is a HORSE race. You have to race with an actual horse.

Centaur: You want me... a centaur... to RIDE a regular horse.

Me: That is, linguistically-speaking, what you agreed to.

Centaur: ...

Me: ...

Centaur: I hate you.

Me: That's fair.

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[–] [email protected] 14 points 4 months ago (16 children)

Is it gross if a centaur borks a regular horse?

[–] [email protected] 17 points 4 months ago (15 children)

And if the answer to that is yes...is it more or less gross than if the centaur borked a human?

[–] [email protected] 14 points 4 months ago (1 children)

Way less gross. Human and centaur are both intelligent, can communicate, and give consent, so it would be fine. With a horse (which has none of these things) the centaur would be committing bestiality.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 4 months ago

Well, in many games there is a Speak With Animals spells or equivalent. They are capable of communication, we just usually can't understand.

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