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this post was submitted on 21 May 2024
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Asklemmy
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Horniness mismatch. You'll never synch up exactly, but if you aren't at least in the same ballpark, everyone just comes away frustrated.
that's not trivial that's really important
That's what polamory is for! I would hate to miss out on an emotionally meaningful relationship just because pp goes hard to often or pp not go hard often enough.
Never tried myself, but I've two sets of pals that are in poly relationships. The best advice they gave my curious mind on the topic is "If it's not a hell yes, it's a hell no." I'm still curious about trying some time, but it's certainly not a "hell yes" for me.
Hmm yes that might be good advice. There is definitely a lot of work to be done on oneself if someone has only been in mono relationships.
A very common phrase is polyam circles. I'd recommend reading literature by and for polyamorous people if you still find yourself curious, but hesitant. Thorntree Press has a good selection of books to choose from. Also, seek out polyamory groups in your area. There are FB polyamory groups in just about every major city that usually aren't too hard to search for, and those groups will often have a monthly munch which would afford you the opportunity to ask questions of a variety of people who live that relationship style.