cross-posted from: https://lemmy.ml/post/15484563
I never understood why people just randomly ask “how are you?” if they don’t really care. By that point is just better not to talk.
this post was submitted on 10 May 2024
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In the UK at least, 'you alright?', shortened to 'right?' is just used as a greeting. In the same way that 'how are you doing' got shortened to 'howdy'. It's just another form of greeting or pleasantry.
If you're actually interested how someone is, you'll ask without the contraction ('are you alright?'), and with a different intonation.
I think that's a fairly reasonable way of doing conversation; I don't have a problem with it.
Yeah, Australia it's 'howyagoin'.
My Scandinavian friend said it was difficult when he came here because he would start to respond but the person had already walked past.
It's something you say when you first arrive at a meeting, or greeting someone. You also say it to strangers when you walk past each other with your dogs.
The response if you're staying to chat with someone you know is 'good, how're you?' and they say 'good' and that's about it - you either move on, or start an actual conversation.
but in passing with strangers or colleagues in the corridor, it's also 'howyagoin', smile maybe a nod and you keep moving.
It's a greeting. It is meaningless other than a polite gesture. Just like when people say "Good morning" they aren't really wishing that person a good morning, just saying something friendly.
Plus the response is naturally escalated based on how well you know the other person. The first time you walk into a shop it is "How are you?" "Good, you?" "Good thanks" But if you have been getting your morning coffee there every day for a year maybe you do actually share something a bit personal. Probably starting off with a positive "Great, I found $5 on the street this morning" and eventually becoming personal and maybe even saying something like "Not great actually, ...".
So it is actually a nice way to transition into a more intimate conversation as you get to know someone.
The thing is that we do have "Morning!", "Hello", "Hey", "Yo!", "Hi!".. and many other greetings that are not in the form of a question that actually leaves it open for the other person to respond with honesty and that is often also used as a conversation starter. If you really aren't open to a conversation, use one of the shorter friendly greetings.
If I say "how's it going?" and they answer with something I don't have time to hear... at most I would excuse myself and politelly say that I don't have too much time to talk.. but complaining about the other person actually answering truthfully makes no sense.
Of course it's just a comic, but still.. I don't think the one answering is in the wrong here.
“I acknowledge your presence and I do hope that you are doing well right now but as you already know I’m on my way somewhere so I will quickly leave yet it won’t be considered rude thanks to my indication of concern for your wellbeing”
->
“‘sup!”
Not a terrible shorthand all things considered
Fortunately this is not the case in every culture ʘ‿ʘ
I'm good by the way if anyone is interested
Glad to ear it. I'm a bit tired and bored but I'm mostly fine as well.
How is the weather where you are?
It's very good, thanks! I've been for a long walk today but Monday it will get worse, sadly
I can imagine. Today was walk for me as well and I am in no rush to be monday.
Yeah its funny how youre expected to outright lie to coworkers
You can totally drop a “meh”, “could be better”, etc. they’re maybe a bit obligated to ask for more details… or just be one of those people that straight up drop your whole emotional load on em.
I used to do this to a few old coworkers that would always work the idle chitchat circuit around the office until they learned to just wave or ignore my cubicle area altogether.
Worked great.