this post was submitted on 05 Aug 2023
109 points (85.6% liked)

Programmer Humor

31251 readers
1098 users here now

Post funny things about programming here! (Or just rant about your favourite programming language.)

Rules:

founded 4 years ago
MODERATORS
 
top 10 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] [email protected] 34 points 11 months ago (2 children)

Operating systems are for casuals. My user interface is Assembly.

[–] [email protected] 26 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Assembly is bloat. Real programmers manually enter machine code onto punchcards with a pencil.

[–] [email protected] 18 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Pencils are bloated, I use me own blood for that.

[–] [email protected] 20 points 11 months ago (1 children)

I just rub my feet on the carpet and use the static electricity to flip bits in ram btw.

fucking casuals.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 11 months ago (1 children)

A carpet is bloat! I use a tiny spec of aluminium foil and rub it onto my cpu to flip it's switches.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 11 months ago (2 children)

I don't even use a computer, I just hunt fish

[–] [email protected] 8 points 11 months ago

Really? That's inefficient. I personally just drink all the water in the pond and eat all the fishes with it. 2in1

[–] [email protected] 3 points 11 months ago

Fish can be bloated, too.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 11 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 4 points 11 months ago

I already deployed my code while these "real programmers" were arguing about what to use. I'm getting a bonus in January. :)