It's Vermin Supreme's moment
Triumph the Insult Comic Dog. We get the absurdity of a puppet and the entertainment of a puppet throwing insults at Trump.
Conan O'brien
Conan O'Biden
Okay okay hear me out.
Megatron.
Only is Starscream gets to be the VP
He is a revolutionary...
Sacha Baron Cohen.
The appeal of Trump's rhetoric and populist message is entirely subconscious, and doesn't stand up to even a few moments of critical analysis. Baron Cohen has a genius-level understanding of how to get into people's heads, and what's more, he can do it fluently, on-the-fly. His U.S. presidential candidate character would totally dismantle MAGA.
Isn't he British?
The guy seems to be able to sweet talk his way in to any room and convince people to do and say the most humiliating things on camera. If him being British become an issue I think he can just act his way out of it and somehow everyone will believe him in spite of it being a publicly known fact.
This is fantasy, who cares. Lots of non-US-born people have been suggested and a bunch of fictional people got suggested, so whatever, you know?
I'd take Ali G Inda(White)house.
Yes, but he gets so deep into character, he could turn American!
I found a guy on linkedin that has the same name, just slot him in and pretend nothing happened, wouldn't even have to change any of the campaign marketing. Dude looks to be in his 20s and manages a coffee place, definitely more than qualified.
Frank fucking Zappa.... were he not dead. Even dead he's a better choice.
Taylor Swift. Not that I think she's absurd. I just think she'd have absolutely zero time for Trump's bullshit, and would probably write some very cutting lyrics about it.
Let's not pin cult leaders against each other now
Cult problems require cult solutions
I really, really want to see Jordan Klepper debate with interview Trump and not hold back at all.
John Browns Body.
I think we would be better off with any rotting corpse over Trump, but old John at least fought for something good once
a masterclass trash talker. And that is really what throws Trump off and throws him into obscene tantrums where his composure is lost and he comes off like a whining loser: when he’s been taken down a peg by someone else. Nothing sticks deeper in his craw.
That's an interesting point, I was actually kind of annoyed that Biden was insulting Trump as I saw it as stooping to his level, but your comment on that does make it seem like a valid strategy.
I don't think he could win, but for a laugh I'd love to see Hunter Biden replace Joe lol convicted felon vs convicted felon!
Joe Biden is way too classy to really insult him. I felt like he was just being honest about who Trump is and what he has done. If it's insulting, it's Trumps fault for that being who he really is.
Like, there's reports Trump actually did shit himself during the debate (Sorry about the link to X, can't find it elsewhere). Joe Biden is way too classy to call Trump out for such a thing.
I agree, though! Hunter is just done even trying to have any semblance of reasonableness or classiness with the right wingers, so he'd probably be like "Okay, fuck this, let's get dirty."
I think Weird Al Yankovic would be the perfect opponent. The absurdity of a political debate where Trump spouts absolute nonsense in a perfectly serious manor while Al lays serious facts in the most nonsensical form would be the show of the century and weird Al has better qualifications for the job by trumps standards having maintained cultural relevancy and financial stability for 4 decades. Plus he's jest super likeable.
He's also a perfect counterpoint as a healthy representative of the Christian religion. It's the reason he doesn't curse in his songs. He's a good clean, Christian boy!
Would they let him respond to debate questions in song with his accordion? Dear GOD I hope so.
...with Vice President... hang on I'm having trouble reading this... Hot Saucerman? Shock Jockerman? Trick Shotterman? Yacht Rockerman? Who is this guy??
Bill Burr or Jon Stewart, either one of them would absolutely crush Trump on a debate stage and people would line up to watch it.
While I think Jon Stewart would make a better president than either of those jackasses, that would be such a cruel thing to do to such a good person.
I don't know that I want Jon Stewart as a POTUS, I just want him one on one with Trump and Trump isn't allowed to leave or call off the debate. Jon Stewart is what the Founding Fathers meant the press to be. They wanted the press to be a 4th check on government outside the separation of powers and not a mouthpieces of the government.
I can almost hear Bill going "ohhh, shut the fuck up, ya fat ahrange piece a' shit!"
Paul Rudd.
As Bobby Newport pls
No one will ever be able to complain about his age since he doesn't age and just owns a painting of himself that ages instead.
A Martha Stewart/Snoop Dogg ticket would be interesting. I kinda want to see Snoop in the debate though so maybe a Snoop Dogg/Martha Stewart ticket.
If you want to guarantee a win though Oprah is the answer. Just to maximize Trump's rage I say we need Oprah/RuPaul 2024.
forget Martha Stewart – but Snoop Dogg and Willie Nelson as heads of the DEA and FDA
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