this post was submitted on 23 Jul 2024
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Job: cashier

Item doesn't scan

Customer: "That means it's free, right?"

🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄

Only about 4 weeks in as a cashier and I've heard this enough to last me a lifetime.

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[–] [email protected] 17 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (1 children)

I’m an event planner. People won’t return my emails or phone calls about the most basic things. Oh, you want a full stage crew to be at your show? And you’re only telling me this the day before your event starts? Gee, it’s a good thing I’m good at my job, and already planned for your last minute request.

Because when I asked about your labor needs two months ago, a month ago, three weeks ago, two weeks ago, 10 days ago, 7 days ago, 5 days ago, 5 days ago, 5 days ago, 4 days ago, 4 days ago, 4 days ago, 3 days ago, and 2 days ago, you didn’t seem super enthusiastic about giving me an answer. But now it’s suddenly the most important thing in the world, and I’m expected to just pull an entire show crew out of my ass to have at your event. Believe it or not, those workers are people with their own lives, and they appreciate being told more than one day in advance if they’re going to be working.

We’re on the same side here. I want your event to go well. I don’t want to be bothered with off-hours phone calls because your event is a dumpster fire. So help me help you. My entire job is to help you get in the door, and make sure the (adequately staffed) crew has the right gear for the job. But I can’t do that if you won’t even tell me what type of event you’re planning, or what time it starts.

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[–] [email protected] 16 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (6 children)

"Are you guys still serving breakfast?"

It ended 5 hours ago! It's 3 in the afternoon and breakfast hours are clearly posted on the sign. What do you think??

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[–] [email protected] 14 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (2 children)

"It must be the network"

-- Webdev who doesn't even understand DNS

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[–] [email protected] 14 points 1 month ago (2 children)

OP, I'll have you know that I pull that joke every single time it happens. And I make sure to throw out a great, heartfelt laugh and slap my knee just to make sure you get the joke.

It's great.

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[–] [email protected] 14 points 1 month ago

Open source business: we support free/open/ethical source software Also business: we use Slack, Google GMail, & Microsoft GitHub for our communication & collaboration Also business: we have a social media presence—which is limited to Instagram, Twitter, Google YouTube, & Discord

[–] [email protected] 12 points 1 month ago (2 children)

Job: Supervisor

Customer pays with a $50 or $100 bill and the till requires that I check it

Customer: "It's good, I just printed it this morning."

Some days I just had to pretend I didn't hear them.

Pro tip: if you have a "go to" joke you always say in a given situation, guaranteed the person you're saying it to has already heard it several times this week. Just don't.

And before anyone responds with "they're just trying to improve your day" they're not. If I don't find the joke funny they get offended, that means they aren't doing it for me, they're doing it to show off how great and funny they are.

Pro tip: don't tell someone a joke if you're going to be offended if they don't laugh.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 1 month ago

I used to reply to this on occasion, "Oh then I have to confiscate this. Got another one?"

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[–] [email protected] 12 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (4 children)

Job: car detailer

Customer has left their animal in the car at some point, and it is completely trashed

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[–] [email protected] 11 points 1 month ago (2 children)

Cashier: *presents EFTPOS machine* Cheque, savings, or credit?

Customer: Savings... More like SPENDINGS, amiright Cashier!? Wooooo! High five for the amazing joke! Up high!

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[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (3 children)

Job: tech support/warranty.

*spare part for repair gets delayed by delivery company by 1 working day (super specific part air post to another country) *

*Item ordered online arrives damaged by courier *

*Out of warranty product is not covered anymore by warranty (suprised pikachu) *

Customer: I did not expect this from a reputable company, like yours. I expect a refund, compensation and a kiss on the ass cheeks from your CEO. Also I will post this on social media and nobody will buy your product, because I am so important and have god like influence and power so better get me free stuff.

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