I don't like being called out like this...
this post was submitted on 29 Jul 2023
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How do I explain to my doctors that my problem isn't that I don't know how to feed myself in a healthy way and I need more dietary advice - but THIS?
You know, this wouldn't be a problem if you had decided to have the moxy (aka $250,000 in startup capital from your parents) required to make yourself into a self made billionaire. If you'd gone that way, you could afford to hire a private chef by now.
Curse you, past me! ( ⊡ 益 ⊡ )
but what if i just ate a whole box of saltine crackers
Lucky for you, you just dominated the food pyramid. A little bit of salt and some tines and you're good to go
add peanut butter
but then mouth sticky
i just like unhealthy amounts of salt
i usually pair it with a side of water
You know, soy milk is a beverage that has protein.
Let me spell that out:
- it is a beverage (can be pulled out of the fridge and consumed in a matter of seconds)
- that has protein (can be used to substitute for part of a meal)
There have been days when I got my carbs from apple juice and my protein from soy milk. And also, like, a carrot or two. (Those can also be eaten with peanut butter.)
Do with that what you will.
You eat carrots with peanut butter?
Holy shit are you me?
Two people eat carrots with peanut butter?
With all due respect, if you haven't tried peanut butter at least once with every form of easily-retrievable food found in a fridge (tortilla, rice, carrots, celery, apples), then you have been managing your executive dysfunction waaaaay too effectively. What kind of ADHD meds are you on?
Almost. I'm a backup you created of yourself. You don't remember why. Neither do I. One of us was going to write it down, but by the time the pencil was in hand, the thought was gone from both of our minds.
Hey a cold hotdog is just a bologna stick
It's all about perspective!
I used to think I wanted to be seen. Now I am and it's uncomfortable. Thanks
B R E A D
And then a spoonful of peanut butter.
It's my midnight ~~treat~~ snack.
Two tortillas is my go to.
I've found my people. Shredded cheese out of the bag if I'm feeling randy
Me too! Mozzarella especially
Even Lynda Carter has an emergency cheese. I think we’re good.
Oh shit I'm in this picture
They have Avocado in refrigerated, individual cups now. (Not guacamole, avocado!)
It requires the slightest bit of effort because you have to open it (like a normal thin metal yogurt top) and throw it away afterwards (or stack it in a trash pile in a corner in your room…). You can lick it out with your tongue or scoop it with your finger if you want to avoid a spoon.
So there’s a semi-easy healthy option out there.
My favorite meal though, is sour cream scoop on a burrito. Very not healthy, but super easy.
I wish we had that pre cut avocado here, that sounds amazing!
I love the stuff, but the peeling and the cutting something slippery (so you need to wash hands before and after) and the catching it right on time when it's not too hard but also not black mush is far too much for me to deal with (and I can't deal with the frozen stuff/pre made guac for reasons), but bread + buttery spread + avocado + cold cuts (I get really nice vegan ones) is one of my favourite snacks that I hardly ever get to eat.
Will start keeping an eye out, maybe it'll get adopted here too (though with the anti-accessibility eco fascists opposing all and every single use plastic - available to buy, but not anywhere else in the manufacturing process where like 70% is used and dumped, I might be wasting my time)
Hey, I invented cold hot dogs!
It's bars of chocolate and handfuls of crisps here...
Hey, my bread dinner almost always has butter on it. Sometimes I even fold it in half with a slice of cheese in the middle. Then again, some days I just say fuck it and just eat the cheese slice.
You can make porridge with flour and water. Even better if you have interesting flours you bought in a moment of excitement but never figured out what to do with. Butter and salt help the palatability.
Damn, I'm hungry now. Having scales handy helps things happen predictably and quickly.
- Stir in a bowl: 50g red sorghum flour + 250g water + butter + salt.
- Microwave on high for 2 mins, then stir.
- Microwave on very low for 5 mins, then stir.
Done. It was a little bitter, but that's just the flavour of the grain. It's satisfyingly nutritious without being full of sugar to mess with my teeth or give me a sugar crash. It'll keep me going for a few hours now.
If I'm smart, with my new-found energy I'll now set about making a proper big meal with vegetables and more substantial proteins with plenty of leftovers to fridge for the coming food crises of tomorrow and the next day and the day after. I might make a biryani. Oh but I should really do my assignments. I really shouldn't open any more tabs.
You're basically eating batter. I dig.
how do you know about my traditional rye flours
I cracked the code by getting microwaveable meals!
But also, I had 2 slices of ham and 2 slices of cheese for dinner tonight so idk if it's really working as well as I think 😅
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