I had the discussion the other day of how civilization would be different if humans followed the 'have loads of babies at once and see which ones survive' style of reproduction.
"Oh hi Sarah! How're the kids?"
"Oh, little Jeremy wasn't eating as much as the others so I threw him outside onto the road."
Pro tip: Get them started early by drinking during pregnancy.
Remember that cringe thing you did when you were ~~9~~ 20 years old?
Character arc.
Where's the squirrel?
He was stealing his sister's toys and fucking with them in ways that scared her. Lad isn't innocent.
I love you asbestos chair.
"Your honor, please don't tell mum. You can have the Xbox for a week just don't tell her."
Can anyone recommend a good cock for beginners?
I can double-cross my legs and it freaks my mates out. I assumed everyone could do it.
"Number 5 and Number 7 ate Number 3 last night."