I guess I'm the problem for locking in a good interest rate when they were low and not wanting to fuck myself over by moving.

Funny, I locked in a bad interest rate when they were high. I'd refinance, but I can only find "worse interest rates that are higher."

It's gonna be really difficult not to piss on my pants through the crevasse under the toilet seat with this guaranteed boner material

*Confused by the surprisingly modest and polite evil shrubbery. Wondering if another higher shrubbery to create a two-level effect would improve the evilness...*

Just wanted to let you know that this is probably the tenth time I've revisited this comment just to read it and chuckle

Found @[email protected]'s early artwork

Fat Texan checking in: my blood is 1/3 ranch

Can, should, and hopefully will. His charming smile and faux-liberal persona on dirty jobs did insurmountable damage to worker's rights by slow-walking the youth to believing that safety and unions only slow down otherwise reasonable progress.

There should be one-episode reboot where Mike gets to perform blue collar tasks with machinery that's missing all legally required safety labels and fail-safes. Then he's only given a description of what he's supposed to accomplish with zero warnings or regulations. At the end of the episode, Mike and whatever pieces of him that remain gets to receive their paycheck after all debts are settled at the company store. That final amount is what he gets to use for rent and food for the week.

Let's see what peripety the ground beef version of Mike Rowe finds in his anagnorisis of promoting the death and dismemberment of his own fan base.

Mike Rowe: oCEaN!
(hold for laughter and applause)

Oh God, don't watch the etc porn! You'll never be able to unsee it...

Yeah, that's more appropriate for a WHEN clause or possibly even a WHOM

"Okay Google, who is the current pope?"

"Did you mean the Catholic pope or the Google pope?"

No, way past this! In fact, never play this part again!