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Lemmy users who feel the heaviness of depression, what issue in your life weighs you down the most?
(lemm.ee)
this post was submitted on 27 Jul 2023
212 points (95.3% liked)
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I just feel like I'm standing still and not in control of things at the moment. My siblings are taking steps forward in their own ways (having kids, moving abroad) and I'm stuck in a job I've had before that I moved back to because of a restructure, so I didn't choose it. It's not fulfilling but I'm good at it, but when it's the only thing I have going on it feels like I should be getting more out of it than I am. Also just feeling isolated as I don't connect with people in my team and I don't have a huge social life.
I want to get my own home so can't really take any huge risks jobwise at the moment. Just feeling stuck.
I think there is advice I have that I can provide to the first thing you describe there. The scale of achievement is not a linear thing. A lot of people say they feel left behind by the progress of others, such as them having kids, getting high ranking jobs, finding homes, and so on, but it's often idealized. Some of those things are double-edged swords (for example some might give you their kids in an instant, as blunt as that sounds), or they might have something that brings them back in this progress.
There was a girl in my friend's high school class that those who felt left behind would always compare themselves to. She was going up and up in progress but married and once married it just spiraled out of control until she ended up giving all her progress up. She's currently living with a friend and she's not looking high-spirited to say the least. Another got taken advantage of in his quest for progress and entered a cult who wanted a high ranking new voice, and his life just got wobbly. Another is in jail/prison. Another just got out of prison and has nothing. Sometimes it is better to adapt to level one.