this post was submitted on 07 Sep 2023
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Im also an introvert but I worked in retail for a long time and I managed to fake benign an extrovert. Now I don’t know what I am.
If I’m around people I know I’m quite outgoing, else I don’t like people and want to be alone. Plus I get drained the more I converse with people.
Sounds like you're like me then: a personable introvert.
I'm good at faking being a social butterfly when I have to as well and generally treat people kindly and considerately but yeah, it really IS draining to deal with people for long periods of time and I tend to avoid it when I can do so without stepping on anyone's toes..
See, that's the main thing that differentiates introverts. A lot of introverts trend to being quiet and unsocial, but it's because they've learned that it's exhausting. Then there's the lot of us who, for whatever reason, have been forced to push through and do it anyway.
Being social is a skill you have to develop, and since we've had to put in more work, we can be pretty good at it. When I'm in a social situation I can turn it on. My defense mechanism when I'm feeling uncomfortable is to shut my brain off and let that social muscle memory take over and I become super charming. Or I have to take over a meeting because I'm the only one who actually understands the topic and can communicate it. I can do it, and I'm good at it. But as soon as it's over I can feel my brain deflate. Sometimes it uses all my spoons and I know immediately that I'm not going to get anything else done the rest of the day because an early surprise meeting showed up on my calendar.