this post was submitted on 27 Apr 2024
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I have (had) a few friends who communicate like this and its just annoying and exhausting. I am never planning anything again with them involved because they cannot state if they actually will or want to come.
I can't stand when people do this. It's beyond frustrating when I've put effort into a relationship and just get this in return. Like I would literally drop everything for you at a moment's notice and you can't even commit to meeting up next week or have the decency to be honest with me so I don't waste my time preparing for you and can make other plans.
What the actual fuck, like am I doing something wrong or did it become okay at some point to treat your friends like this?? Cause it makes me feel like shit when it happens and it happens way too often.
Did you talk to them about how it makes you feel? I would suggest doing that with the caviate that you should stay with your feelings and not be accusatory. Even though I know it is hard to do.
I feel this so hard. I fucking see you. I'm very much a extrovert. I enjoy going out and doing things with people MUCH more than I do being at home. I get hype when I get to plan something, whether that's at my house for a D&D session or out and about around town (or even vacations). I'm also a "more the merrier type", which means everyone is invited and I'll genuinely talk to you/make sure no one is left out. I just like people.
But after a certain amount of times being stood-up/flaked on in the final hours, I stop with the invites. I stop asking for people's opinions on if they want to do things with me. I stop planning. And I just kinda disconnect from people.
I've had introverted coworkers and associates tell me "I like to be invited, I just don't always like to go. But I want to be included."
But bruh, it hurts my feelings too when I get so excited to hang with everyone and you bail regularly. Clearly at some point I have to accept that I'm just not your cup of tea, and you're prioritizing other things. That's okay, but it doesn't mean I have to accept continuously being knocked down by you because of it.
Imma take a stab in the dark and say that you're your friend groups "planner" friend as well. It's really fucking frustrating to try and plan something as simple as a dinner that requires reservations, and people are like "Um. Uh. Maybe I'll come, idk", up until the last minute. Or even a headcount for food being served at your house.