this post was submitted on 08 Jun 2024
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I'm 34, the point I'm making is age doesn't matter for what we are talking about. You are in a very similar mental and social state to what I was then. I've also relapsed multiple times since then. This shit is hard. But you are not alone, there is light at the end of the tunnel, but you can't see it because the tunnel is insanely fucking bendy just to fuck with you.
I am sure there are Italian women that match what you describe, just as there are British women like that too. But I am certain there are others who aren't like that, and value different things.
Now, do they want someone who is only looking for the negative? No, they don't. But that is the exact same as the other part of your brain that is not wanting that either. You are not defined by your sadness. While it is a part of you, and always will be, it is not all of you.
I also appreciate that given how fucked the political situation is in Italy right now, and with a fascist in charge, being an immigrant must be incredibly difficult. But you are not defined by what racists say. Fuck those cunts. The best way to get revenge, on them, is to live the life that proves them wrong.
Again, your continued replies give me reason to believe you can get better. You just need to take the hardest imaginable step, which is to open the door and start the first 100m.
But you're right, listening to a song you like isn't going to change your life. But it will help you remember what feeling a tiny bit happier feels like. It may even give you a way to deliberately make yourself feel a bit happier when you're having a bad day. When I'm really down I usually watch films I loved as a kid - like The Mask - and, for those 90 or some mins, I feel a bit better. Not a lot, but just enough to stop me falling further. And then I have to rebuild.
There are many steps left in the tunnel, but going forward will get you to the end. You can't see it, I know it feels like it doesn't exist and you're completely alone in the dark, but it is there, and you're not alone. You can do this.
The only reason I'm replying is because I'm sick of people bs me. There's no tunnel. Is just my entire life. There's nothing to rebuild, your dumb comparisons make no sense. I'm starting to feel that you're doing this just to feel better about yourself "hey at least I didn't finished like this loser and got to bang a chick".
GIVE UP.
We're not bullshitting you, we are trying to show you the way out.
And yeah, you got me, doing this does make me feel better. I feel better when I can use my experiences to help people. It helps me to remind myself to be kind to myself. Everything I am saying to you applies to me as well.
I won't give up on myself, so why would I give up on you? You are just as valuable and important as I am.
Ignore the bit in your mind telling you to push us away, again, it's scared that you're realising that you are not it, and that it's losing some control. It has got very used to being in control, but it is a part of you, you are not a part of it.
STFU.
There's no bit pushing me to do this. I'm the one telling you that you're wrong and you're annoying as fuck. Stop trying to be a fucking psychoanalyst, yeah you got to taste some saggy tits, that doesn't give you the right to tell wtf I need to do with fucking life clown.
I didn't asked for dating advice, you got some girl that pity fucked you? Good for you ππΌππΌππΌ... I'm not you and I'll never be, and probably for the better, fuck me if I wanna become anything like you.
Friend, you were the one who asked the question what it's like. I've told you, and also explained how you can get from where you are to being in a relationship.
I can't force you to seek help, but if in the future you ever feel like you'd like to chat, feel free to message me.
You don't have to push everyone away, not everyone is out to hurt you. I hope you realise this before it's too late.
No, you didn't just answered me, otherwise we're wouldn't be on this stupid rebuttal... If you just answered the question I wouldn't had the need to respond you.
Now you're just lying to yourself, this is from my original comment.
You literally told me what to do even when I didn't asked for it. There you're just picking a extract of your answer. If it was only that then it would've been ok, clown.
If it was only that, it wouldn't be representative of reality. For me to be able to have a good relationship required a lot of change. Namely I had to accept some responsibility for my situation and stop pretending it was only other people's fault.
A relationship is a partnership, it requires everyone involved to bring good things to it. If they don't, it will fail.
You don't have to be beautiful, or rich, or famous to be in a relationship, but if you aren't nice to speak to, or be around, trustworthy, caring, considerate, etc, why would anyone want to spend their life with you?
You refuse to except your attitude and actions have contributed in any way to your situation. As a result, you will never be in a relationship.
It's your decision. Your circumstances won't change over night, it will take a long time and a lot of work, but if you really want to, you're absolutely capable of it. You are not fundamentally broken and irreparable.
You realize way worse people in this fucking planet managed to marry and have kids right? I'm a fucking saint in comparison. I'm not got to change shit in my life, I don't wanna become someone else. That's the way I am, I'm nobody's friend, nobody enemy. I'm loyal and don't betray anyone, if that isn't enough for the world, then fuck'em. It is their fault not mine. I'm not a fucking criminal for being myself.
So your bar is what, not being an absolute cunt?
You're aware that people are not typically in consentual relationships with bad people, right?
Being shit scared of your partner is not a good thing.
Scared? You speak like I'm about to hit a woman. I don't want to become someone else, I will never change. Blame the world for that. Nothing is going to change because the world still the fucking same. I'm not going to move a single finger just to be more "appetizable". Fuck them
No, I don't think you're going to hit someone, but you did say worse people than you are in relationships, and I was reminding you that bad people do hit women, and scare them in to never leaving. Neither of us think that is the type of relationship you want.
As I've said before, one day you'll realise that your attitude contributes to - but didn't create - your situation. Insisting you are utterly powerless keeps you in that hole.
I am not saying you need to change. What I am saying is that the negative part of your personality is drowning out all other parts. Those parts are still there, they are still as much a part of you as they always were, but you just can't hear them.
You are not helpless, you are not broken.
When was the last time you can remember being happy? Think back, it may have been a very long time ago, what was it you were doing?
You don't fucking know me. If I'm telling you that is the reality, is because it fucking is. I haven't been happy since I stopped being a child. Big fucking deal, I'm still here. And I won't kill myself. The world can suck my dick if they don't want me.
What happened when you stopped being a child?
Dude give up and fuck off.
Nothing will change and I don't want your "help" you're not helping anyone.
Fair enough. Enjoy your life.
I won't.