838
Old-timey doctors (sh.itjust.works)
submitted 1 week ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
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[-] [email protected] 80 points 1 week ago

"your hot wife obviously is suffering from sexy demons. I need to use my specialized equipment to vigorously purge them from her, once each evening, and sometimes just after lunch..."

[-] [email protected] 61 points 1 week ago

That sounds far fetched until you remember that they diagnosed women with hysteria and treated them by giving them orgasms. When the vibrator was invented to treat muscle pain much later, doctors latched onto them for treating hysteria to give their hands a break.

[-] [email protected] 43 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

Absolutely. Hystéra is Greek for uterus. Hysteria, or the “roaming uteri” theory was a successor to Plato’s theory of hysterical suffocation. They believed that the uterus could migrate around the body, placing pressure on internal organs. It’s like gynecological fan fiction.

[-] [email protected] 23 points 1 week ago

When pregnant that's a pretty good explanation of what it does though. Uterus just tells everybody up to the diaphragm to get outta the fucking way.

[-] [email protected] 3 points 1 week ago
[-] [email protected] 2 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

Duh. Uterus is Latin. Thanks. I’ll edit for clarity.

[-] [email protected] 2 points 1 week ago

I had to look it up myself lol

[-] [email protected] 1 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

I couldn’t remember the spelling of the Greek word, so I looked it up yesterday for that comment. I searched “Greek word for uterus” and then wrote Latin in the comment like a dingus.

Not only was Plato Greek, but Latin words that end in “us” are pluralized with an “i.” It was all right there mocking me. Lol

[-] [email protected] 1 points 1 week ago

Wasn't at all mocking! It wasn't even me who caught it. My GF was like "Hmmm, thats too internet-only-fact" and looked it up. Just passing it along cause I sure as shit didn't know lol

[-] [email protected] 1 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

No worries! I didn’t take it as such. I meant the comment itself was mocking me. I knew better.

[-] [email protected] 2 points 1 week ago

Oh, yeah, that feeling sure is fun... especially when it catches a hyperfixation wave.

[-] [email protected] 1 points 1 week ago

Have you been talking to my therapist? Lol

[-] [email protected] 2 points 1 week ago

No we just gone so crazy that you don't even remember I'm you buddy! Try and remember on Wednesday, it's embarrassing when we don't check the mirror on our way out the door, can't have that happening again.

[-] [email protected] 2 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

Not after that Hoffstadtler presentation mishap, no.

You’re fun. I hope you and your girlfriend have a great weekend!

[-] [email protected] 2 points 1 week ago

Lol thanks! I feel the same. Enjoy what's left of your weekend too!

[-] [email protected] 8 points 1 week ago

I think that makes up for a lot of bad things that were done.

[-] [email protected] 1 points 1 week ago
[-] [email protected] 1 points 1 week ago

I think you responded to the wrong comment

[-] [email protected] 2 points 1 week ago

Is your username a modem interpretation of OMGWTFBBQ?

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[-] [email protected] 1 points 1 week ago
[-] [email protected] 8 points 1 week ago

that still exists today in Turkey

[-] [email protected] 4 points 1 week ago

Well in that case

Merhaba, bugün doktorunuz olacağım. Lütfen eteğinizi kaldırın, iç çamaşırınızı çıkarın ve her zamanki pozisyonu alın.

[-] [email protected] 1 points 1 week ago

Gobble gobble

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[-] [email protected] 44 points 1 week ago

The only logical solution is for me to blow pipe tobacco smoke in your butthole.

[-] [email protected] 39 points 1 week ago

"You got hysteria lady, time for a finger blasting session."

[-] [email protected] 9 points 1 week ago

They used a vibrator because they did not want to get tired.

[-] [email protected] 5 points 1 week ago
[-] [email protected] 2 points 1 week ago

I've never heard that term for an intern.

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[-] [email protected] 33 points 1 week ago

go back in time

give people real medical advice

"wash your hands after working with cadavers"

get drummed out of the profession

die in an asylum

[-] [email protected] 26 points 1 week ago

Lol, you can still do that, just call it "the truth that big pharma doesn't want you to know"

[-] [email protected] 22 points 1 week ago

Credit to John Mulaney for this joke

[-] [email protected] 1 points 1 week ago* (last edited 6 days ago)

This joke has been around a lot longer than he has.

Also, this image is a knockoff of a decade old meme, but made worse by adding a lot more words.

Edit: the older version

[-] [email protected] 2 points 1 week ago
[-] [email protected] 1 points 6 days ago* (last edited 6 days ago)

You are quite welcome!

(I'm helping! Yaaaaaay!)

Edit: Found the old version, just to provide actual help.

[-] [email protected] 13 points 1 week ago

Sadly you could still do this today and charge insurance in the US as long as people don't care you're charging their insurance.

[-] [email protected] 10 points 1 week ago

Not to leave out covering your forehead in leeches to suck out evil.

[-] [email protected] 10 points 1 week ago

Something about the phrasing "you should do a lot of cocaine about it" really tickles me. I wonder what you call breaking grammar rules for humor like that.

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[-] [email protected] 9 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

You've got a horrible infection and a fever?

I'll be right over to slit your veins and let all the bad blood out.

(In fairness I think bloodletting was mostly out of practice by the time actual telephones existed, but lol joke)

Maybe a more time period accurate one would be:

Your foot hurts? You think its from a badly fit shoe. Ok. Ok. Come over tomorrow and we will stick your foot into the wildly overpowered and unshielded x ray scope and we'll see what can be done.

[-] [email protected] 7 points 1 week ago

Sadly (or not), they werent making shit up, they actually believed what they said

[-] [email protected] 4 points 1 week ago
[-] [email protected] 4 points 1 week ago

Yep. Thats a demographic that has gotten a whole lot more exposure lately

[-] [email protected] 6 points 1 week ago

There is a ghoti swimming in your veins

[-] [email protected] 3 points 1 week ago

Do you have a ghoti-ing licence for that joke? Wild ghoti must be preserved, you know!

[-] [email protected] 2 points 1 week ago

Let’s not forget, keeping your ear to an ample bosom “listening” for heart sounds.

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this post was submitted on 21 Jun 2024
838 points (98.2% liked)

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