this post was submitted on 23 Jun 2024
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Lemmy Shitpost

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[–] [email protected] 275 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Depends on if you're a tits or an ass guy, I guess?

[–] [email protected] 50 points 1 week ago

Pack it in guys this is the comment.

[–] [email protected] 119 points 1 week ago (2 children)

I don't remember this scene in Shrek

[–] [email protected] 14 points 1 week ago

That's because it was part of a scrapped movie in the franchise. It wad going to be called Shrek's choice with Shrek being played by Meryl Streep

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 week ago

It was the rule 34 version.

[–] [email protected] 61 points 1 week ago (19 children)

A donkey is ill-equipped to give even a passable blowjob.

[–] [email protected] 40 points 1 week ago (1 children)

It's a speaking donkey so don't assume standard donkey laryngeal and//or oral anatomy

[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 week ago

Hehe you said "oral".

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[–] [email protected] 58 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (7 children)

That's more like a gamified Rorschach test. If you need sexual rewards to decide whether you should save a human life instead of the life of unprocessed salami, you are a psychopath.

[–] [email protected] 100 points 1 week ago

But this "unprocessed salami" can speak. Kinda puts them on level playing field.
Unless, of course, salami is voiced by Eddie Murphy, in which case it's an easy pick.

[–] [email protected] 53 points 1 week ago (1 children)

But the unprocessed Salami will suck my dick. So

[–] [email protected] 36 points 1 week ago (1 children)

But the human will let you suck her dick. So

[–] [email protected] 12 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Yeah, but I've already done that. So

[–] [email protected] 11 points 1 week ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 week ago

I learned I'm not into that. So

[–] [email protected] 19 points 1 week ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 13 points 1 week ago (5 children)

sometimes meat companies do a pro gamer move and turn dead donkeys into extra profit

rascals

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[–] [email protected] 14 points 1 week ago (3 children)

You might be taking the internet too seriously

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[–] [email protected] 12 points 1 week ago

I have yet to meet the random animal that I dislike more than the average human.

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[–] [email protected] 48 points 1 week ago (12 children)

Saving the woman sounds like a huge W. This is the easiest choice of my life, what are you on about?

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[–] [email protected] 38 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Can I save both but reject both offers? Because I can see value in them as very unique individuals but I'm not really into mules or women with bigger dicks than me.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 week ago (2 children)

Who says their dick is bigger? Maybe they have a smaller dick... would you be into it then?

[–] [email protected] 21 points 1 week ago (5 children)

You can just tell, trust me. Professional dick predictor and gait reader, worked in physical rehabilitation for years. I can also smell thyroid disease.

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[–] [email protected] 36 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Help them save each other, watch the donkey suck her off.

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[–] [email protected] 33 points 1 week ago

The Shrek paradox

[–] [email protected] 25 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Let me see the human from the back

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[–] [email protected] 24 points 1 week ago (1 children)

What if I save her and we go for a coffee or something?

[–] [email protected] 15 points 1 week ago

Donkeys don't drink coffee.

[–] [email protected] 22 points 1 week ago (4 children)

Ace people: Guess you'll die then...

[–] [email protected] 12 points 1 week ago (1 children)

I mean I'm sure some ace people like to engage in sexual activity. Sexual attraction and libido are different.

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[–] [email protected] 21 points 1 week ago

I mean it's not every day I meet a talking donkey. So

[–] [email protected] 19 points 1 week ago (3 children)

I'll never understand why low res images like this always have half the text cropped off. I get why it's done when they're conveniently censoring something, but...ugh. :(

[–] [email protected] 33 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Making bad crops is part of the post-ironic meme meta

[–] [email protected] 13 points 1 week ago

it's the visual equivalent of comedically cut videos

[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 week ago

They're cropping out watermarks. Better to just leave it in but oh well

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[–] [email protected] 18 points 1 week ago (2 children)

Making a link between zoophilia and sexual relationships with a queer person, how original!

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[–] [email protected] 15 points 1 week ago (5 children)

I'm a degenerate, I WANT BOTH

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[–] [email protected] 10 points 1 week ago

Drink more, then wake up with a nasty hangover, and think about how you should’ve hydrated while drinking.

Water is the universal solvent.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 week ago

is this the spiritual successor to the bear man thing?

[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

\3. Ride the Shai-Hulud to destiny.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 week ago (5 children)
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