this post was submitted on 09 Aug 2023
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Memes

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[–] [email protected] 21 points 11 months ago (1 children)

bidet users in states can feel this meme

[–] [email protected] 6 points 11 months ago (2 children)

Toto makes a handheld battery powered travel bidet, if you didn't know. Instructions are in Japanese, but you can probably figure it out cuz there are illustrations.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 11 months ago (1 children)

and maybe this is my american ignorance leaking, but a portable bidet sounds hecking gross.... but i'll be a better person and do a bit o research. thanks

[–] [email protected] 3 points 11 months ago (2 children)

It’s just a spray of water, it doesn’t go on or in your butt

[–] [email protected] 3 points 11 months ago (1 children)

i've seen the mess my bidet has done ... i have ibs y'all... i feel like i'd make a mess of things. i'm scared :P

[–] [email protected] 3 points 11 months ago

Okay, that is a very real possibility, I didn’t even think about IBS

[–] [email protected] 1 points 11 months ago

Did someone just reinvent the Douche and renamed it?

[–] [email protected] 11 points 11 months ago (3 children)

My dude, you're missing out on a world of workplace skiving.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 11 months ago

Boss makes a dollar, I make a dime. That's why I shit on company time.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 11 months ago

This sentence starts out sounding American and ends up very British.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 11 months ago (1 children)

That is until you work in a kitchen where the chef replaced the light with a heat lamp bulb...I admired and hated him

[–] [email protected] 1 points 11 months ago

That's devious and genius at the same time.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago) (1 children)

signal-2023-08-09-08-51-16-065

Me wishing there were public bidets in the US and feeling dirty when I use non-bidets in an emergency.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 11 months ago (2 children)

Try wiping Nutella off a carpet and you'll know my pain.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 11 months ago

Jesus Christ, thanks for that mental image dingleberry

[–] [email protected] 1 points 11 months ago

The consistency is a variable that depends on your diet. I used to have that problem too, but no more!

[–] [email protected] 9 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago)

I work at a small grocery store and I'm astounded by how often people shit in our public bathroom. Our toilet is extemely popular, and as such is always ripe with the robust smell of shit. It's clear that many of these customers have a routine.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Who cares what toilet you poop in? As long as the toilet is clean. A man’s gotta poo when a man’s gotta poo

[–] [email protected] 4 points 11 months ago (1 children)

My body shuts down when I'm out of the house, I literally cannot poop unless it's either my own toilet, or a very private and clean place somewhere.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 11 months ago

yeah it's the worst. With shy bladder I'm prone to dehydrating myself just so I don't have to worry about using the bathroom when I'm in public

[–] [email protected] 6 points 11 months ago

Imagine not being paid to shit.

-Posting this from the office bathroom

[–] [email protected] 5 points 11 months ago

I haven't pooped for 3 days

[–] [email protected] 4 points 11 months ago

Home shit home

But yea, at least you know how clean your own toilet is and you can sit for hours on end with no one bothering you

[–] [email protected] 1 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago)

I was once like that, until I started working, now I can shit just about everywhere.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Otoh there's nothing more manly than pooping in the dirty public washroom

[–] [email protected] 2 points 11 months ago

I don't find it manly

[–] [email protected] 1 points 11 months ago

it's a safe house

[–] [email protected] 1 points 11 months ago

Shitbreak won't have a problem shitting at school anymore. Slipped a little something into his Moccachino.

[–] [email protected] 0 points 11 months ago (1 children)

If it bothers you this much why not just keep some cleaning wipes in your car or bag or something and you'll never have to be uncomfortable again.