C is the sniper you don’t see
Programmer Humor
Post funny things about programming here! (Or just rant about your favourite programming language.)
Rules:
- Posts must be relevant to programming, programmers, or computer science.
- No NSFW content.
- Jokes must be in good taste. No hate speech, bigotry, etc.
C is back at HQ with 2 Stars and enough political capital to serve till they die.
And just like in Metal Gear, he dies of old age if you wait a bit.
C is old, ubiquitous and still does not have a good replacement for its low-level cross-platform usecases, so I'll believe it when I see it 😄
Rust is doing a very decent job of low-level cross platform. C just has a very long history.
Its cross-platform support (not just for using but also for building it) is not there yet, and it is quite huge and unstandardized with only one full implementation. I'd agree the last part will change with age, but given the frequent large changes and feature additions I am afraid it will be harder and harder and it is simply too complex and fast-moving for many low-level applications. It is closer to C++ than C in my eyes. I'd be happy seeing it replace C++ though for its memory safety benefits!
jokes on you i code the entire stack in JavaScript
Is python really any better?
Python is as inefficient as js is ugly
Well done.
That is like a colleague farewell card that says, “Four years already? It seems like only six months with all that we have accomplished.”
ah yes programming languages are jokes themselves, and not the programmers using the wrong tools for the wrong job
While true, there are some languages that are the wrong tool for every job. JS is one of them. I've dreamt of a future where web frontends switched to something sane but instead we got stuff like typescript which is like trying to erect steel beams in quicksand. For web frontends I can understand that historical reasons have lead to this but whoever came up with node thinking JS would be a great backend language has a lot of explaining to do.
PHP is the landmine they are about to step on.
"You guys are stupid. See, they're gonna be lookin' for army guys."
Every few years I go back to giving JS a chance and every time I'm left frustrated. At least it's not as bad as it was a decade ago I guess
So bizarre how life experience drives attitude. I'm one of those who has worked in a dozen languages, and Javascript (well, Typescript now) simply wins out for me. I run a C# team right now (have been for nearly a decade), and I can say as much as I love my job I hate the language. We get less done with slower code and with more bugs and more (very talented) people than the little $10M operation 4 of us did with node.js a couple jobs ago.
And as an aftethought since language and tooling are different topics... the ops toolchains for javascript are so much better than anything I've worked in any other language. Code released to production often ends up costing us less (dollar value) in the time to deploy, and then less per-user and per-hour.
I know a lot of C# diehards and I respect their passion. I just cannot relate to their experience. And I can say that with over a decade of experience in many of the languages in the original meme.
C or c++ should be the one in the back, pointing at things...
May i ask why everyone hates JavaScript so much? It's not ironic it's a real question, i can't really get it, is it just because it doesn't have types? Or there's more?
Because it's inescapable. Web development is by far the most common type of programming work and even if you're a backend developer you tend to have to touch javascript at some point, so everyone knows the pain of javascript's foot guns and javascript has a lot.
The fact that it's mandatory to do your work invokes bitterness in people. For backend, you can kind of switch around until you find a language you like. For frontend, it's javascript or nothing at all.
Javascript as a language is very out of sync with other commonly used languages. Its footguns are very easy to run into. As a result you have a lot of rituals around just not shooting yourself in the foot. The rituals, libraries, and frameworks around avoiding Javascript's foot guns have been very shifting and changing. Of course, because the javascript ecosystem changes far faster than other languages, there are a lot of rakes for developers to step on to add to the naturally existing foot guns.
Javascript as a language probably shouldn't be the sole language of the internet for a variety of reasons. It's a very hateable language because of how easy it is for newbies to make new terrible code and how common it is. Until something like WASM takes off, the downpour of hate for javascript will continue.
I believe the amount of hate and mockery Javascript receives is heavily skewed, simply because almost every programmer who is active today has at least some experience with the language, and with more users there are also more people capable of complaining about it.
I work with languages that are much worse than Javascript, yet they don't receive nearly as much hate because hardly anyone uses them.
One that comes into my mind is ABAP:
What the fuck
My colleagues and I joke around that SAP stands for Sadness and Pain.
As you may know SAP is a German company and the name originally was an acronym for SanduhrAnzeigeProgramm, which translates to "hourglass displaying program" - a nod to when busy software would change the mouse cursor into an hour glass - since it was initially conceived as a hardware stress test software - expanding to employee stress tests was just the logical next step.
Things got weird when scammers found a new hustle charging hundreds of dollars per hour pretending it was an ERP solution or similarly outrageous ideas that non-technical people in all kinds of business fell for.
(copied from reddit before it gets deleted)
It has a rocky start, and a lot of cruft from that era sticked around.
There are also a lot of horrible legacy projects from the pre-ES5 era which are a pain to work with. Often older projects were coded either before people knew how to do javascript right, or before the devs who wrote it knew how to write javascript right.
I'm a backend engineer. My biggest issue with JavaScript is environments that use it in the backend.
JavaScript is designed to run in a way that continue to try to do things even when it's running in to errors. But it does that because I'm a front end that's what you want. In the front end, working but ugly is better than not working at all. In the backend that can be catastrophic, though.
It's wild that Python is getting a shoutout over javascript despite being an even bigger loosely typed mess.
I think it's partially because Python has a reputation as being a serious language for serious people because it's popular amongst data scientists and academics, whereas Javascript is still seen as being popular amongst script kiddies and people building crappy websites for $100 / pop.
That being said, most of the time i hear javascript jokes at work they're pretty tongue in cheek /ironic / the dev isn't really hating on it. I have heard a dev or two make those javascript jokes with a more serious critical tone, and everyone tends to ignore them and not engage because they're pretty clearly just haters who have a general tendency to dislike popular things.
Python programmers, brace yourself for this...
Oh wait.