this post was submitted on 31 Jul 2024
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Lemmy Shitpost

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Welcome to Lemmy Shitpost. Here you can shitpost to your hearts content.

Anything and everything goes. Memes, Jokes, Vents and Banter. Though we still have to comply with lemmy.world instance rules. So behave!


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[–] [email protected] 118 points 1 month ago (4 children)

(opens Blender with malicious intent)

[–] [email protected] 135 points 1 month ago
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[–] [email protected] 114 points 1 month ago (4 children)

I've been thinking about it for several days, and have come to the conclusion that Elastigirl could indeed grow a dick. As shown in multiple scenes, she can stretch any part of her body to make it many times larger. Based on what she has done, it should be no problem for her to extend her genitals into a penis. This brings us to the second discussion point. Mr. Incredible has super-strength, and more importantly, super endurance. This means that his wife could easily expand her dick to several yards in length. The problem of fitting in into Bob's tight asshole could easily be solved by inserting it while small, and ballooning up afterwards. I think the writers made them have these Specific powers on purpose. It seems unlikely that it is a coincidence that Helen has the ability to grow a massive dick, and her husband just so happens to have an indestructible anus. Therefore I conclude that not only does Elastigirl have the biggest dick in the world, she bones Mr. Incredible with it on a regular basis. And because it is a girl and a guy, it is by definition, not gay

[–] [email protected] 49 points 1 month ago (2 children)

What the fuck did I just read?

[–] [email protected] 59 points 1 month ago

The abstract for OP’s PHD thesis.

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[–] [email protected] 25 points 1 month ago

Please invite me to the defense of the thesis, I'll sit in the back and ask relevant questions that you can answer easily and allows you to show off your intellectual prowess at the same time.

[–] [email protected] 24 points 1 month ago

I appreciate the effort you put into writing this. Not the result, but at least the effort.

[–] [email protected] 15 points 1 month ago

Fuckin QED, mate

[–] [email protected] 71 points 1 month ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 64 points 1 month ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 32 points 1 month ago (2 children)

I should ask her how it's hanging

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[–] [email protected] 71 points 1 month ago (1 children)

I know I couldn't do this on Reddit but can I delete someone else's post on Lemmy?

[–] [email protected] 51 points 1 month ago (2 children)

Yes.

Step 1: Host an instance

Step 2: Delete a post

[–] [email protected] 28 points 1 month ago

I like Lemmy better already.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 month ago

Hehehehe I can do that

[–] [email protected] 43 points 1 month ago (1 children)

More importantly:

The only reason they hooked up in the first place was that her powers allowed her to take that Incredidick™ without dying.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 month ago (1 children)

It's the, ah, finish that's the danger.

Basically this:

(I'm sorry)

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 month ago

Before you even get to the ...catastrophic finish, Every thrust would be a danger of either getting thrown across the room or getting crushed, unless you're...

... flexible.

[–] [email protected] 35 points 1 month ago

you shouldnt ask questions you already know the answer to

[–] [email protected] 23 points 1 month ago
[–] [email protected] 22 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (10 children)

To the person who flagged this NSFW because of the language, you probably will not last long on Lemmy if "clit" and "dick" (misspelled) are too not safe for where you work.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 month ago

Doing the Lord's work Squidward

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[–] [email protected] 21 points 1 month ago (1 children)

✊ TO THE SEARCH MACHINE!

Rule 34, don't you fail me now!!

[–] [email protected] 10 points 1 month ago

Based on random deviant art from just logging in you wont be disappointed.

[–] [email protected] 19 points 1 month ago

everyday we stray further from god

[–] [email protected] 15 points 1 month ago

I'm pretty sure the fanart of that exists somewhere. Rules 34 and 35, y'know.

[–] [email protected] 14 points 1 month ago

I don't see why not.

[–] [email protected] 13 points 1 month ago (2 children)
[–] [email protected] 28 points 1 month ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 month ago

This will be very useful in the future in, tysm!

[–] [email protected] 10 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Cause they'll never get to see her do this?

[–] [email protected] 14 points 1 month ago

Not with that attitude

[–] [email protected] 13 points 1 month ago (2 children)

She could, but it would be hard to keep it hardened long enough or tough enough for it to be used that way. She's not a fucking pokemon after all...

[–] [email protected] 29 points 1 month ago (2 children)

She turned herself into a motorboat

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 month ago (1 children)

But not for motorboating purposes.

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[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 month ago (1 children)

fucking pokemon

I got distracted

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 month ago

Speaking of Vaporeon...

[–] [email protected] 12 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

The meme my fet needed

[–] [email protected] 10 points 1 month ago (3 children)

Wouldn't it be too sensitive to fuck with?

[–] [email protected] 39 points 1 month ago

My wife tells me I'm to sensitive to fuck with.

[–] [email protected] 18 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Presumably the nerves wouldn't multiply and they'd be spread out, creating a faux penis in a process that wasn't entirely dissimilar from evolution's.

[–] [email protected] 14 points 1 month ago

female hyenas would like to know your location

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 month ago

Well she'd probably accelerate up to teenage-boy initial orgasm speed, but because she's a woman she could just keep going until she's had enough of them. And presumably the nerve endings would be more dispersed due to stretching.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 1 month ago

It wouldn't be pegging then, would it?

[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 month ago

That's enough Internet for today!

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 month ago

I don’t know, but I guarantee they’ve at least tried.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (1 children)

Do you think she can extend it enough for fuck bois to find it?

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