If a partner moved in with me they absolutely would help pay my mortgage. But I wouldn't lie that I didn't own the place. Just set standards of what I expect
this post was submitted on 18 Jul 2023
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My partner said that when he'd move in with me, he'd pay his share. His logic is that he's currently paying a landlord and he'd rather pay me. That way I get more financial room to loan money again (I own my apartment, but have a mortgage), and he'd pay less than current rent, allowing him to expand on a down-payment buffer. Ideally this way we could upgrade to a small house in time, suitability split, and I keep the apartment to rent out or I can sell it.
There is power in combined finances, but you need to take into account what you'd do on your own. That said, I would prefer to be in a situation where I could just let him move in for free, as life is expensive enough already.
But I also believe that it is essential to a good relationship that each carries their reasonable share. I grew up with my mom fully depending on my dad for finances as she was a stay at home mother. I loved she was always there for us, but when my parents grew apart, she really struggled and dealt with a lot of guilt because she couldn't provide for us as before. This is why I've always made sure I could make my own way. My apartment isn't the greatest but I'm thankful every day I can benefit from ownership.
Let's be serious, the bank owns the place until it's all paid off.
The fact that he lied about owning property is gross, but if he had told her, why wouldn't she contribute to the monthly bills? She is occupying space.
Again not telling her is shady but if she could make an informed decision, paying rent to live in a house isn't crazy, even if one person is accruing long term value from the spend.
If it were me I'd obv tell her day 1, then offer a generous rent rate. The house is being worn down by 2, but you are gaining long term value (paying principle on the mortgage). She can't expect to live rent free, but you can't expect her to share the mortgage burden equally.
Because when they break up she has nothing and he has her money in the form of equity. Splitting consumption bills is obviously good, but splitting a mortgage where one party gets it all is far less cut and dry.
If that's all up front and she agrees then whatever but the scenario in the meme is pretty scummy
Replies filled with people that will hopefully never live with their girlfriends because they seem very satisfied with the idea of lording over a romantic partner.
Not to say that the deception is shitty, but she'd be in the same situation as if she rented a place. It's a little out there to expect equity when all you did was cohabitate for a period, it's the exact same thing as renting a room or something.