Last night I grabbed a bunch of audio files for country songs that contain the phrase "ice cold beer," then I edited them together so that all the "ice cold beer"s lined up amidst the cacophony of about 5 songs being played at the same time. I thought that would be funny but it just didn't sound as good as I thought it would. Maybe if each song faded in one by one... I dunno.

Going ok so far here, counting down the hours till chill time! Partner, cat and weekend of gaming and chilling.

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I’m doing better than I was previously. Getting past some mental health hurdles, and I’m finally back to work. I start on a new team, with a new supervisor that won’t cruelly demean me in our 1 on 1s until I start crying 🙃 still struggling a bit and I messed up my back gardening over the weekend, so that doesn’t help.

it was my birfday last thursday

i did the lego great wave of kanagawa set

The manager if one of my jobs is on vacation and because that leaves me, another person, and three new hires (one of which hasn't been showing up for her correct shifts), I'm scheduled to work every single day until my last day (Thursday). I had to go directly from that job to my other job today. I'm dying inside.

Mentally not having a great week but not hugely sure why. Not sleeping well which doesn't help. Hoping that seeing Barbie later will help

Apparently my lungs are especially healthy for someone my age/demographic.

A weird mix of great and awful! Recovering well from a surgery I've wanted for years, just in time for my roommate to get laid off from work! All while my computer is dead, preventing me from working myself.

I'm honestly losing my will to live. Not actively considering sucide, but in the "I wouldn't mind if that bus just swerved into me and this bullshit could finally end" phase. Physical and mental health's down the shitter, and I'm making the mental part worse by isolating myself from my friends and the outside world in general – partially because I'm just so tired due to health issues, and partially due to having picked up an old substance abuse problem that I tend to reach for every time I hit a rough spot, and which absolutely does not help. Haven't left my apartment in days now.

Everything feels so pointless. My immune system hates me, meaning my body has decided that everything starting from my eyes to my nervous system is the enemy, so now I'm slowly losing my eyesight and getting neuropathic pain from dying nerve fibers. After getting sick 3 or so years ago I've managed to cut almost all of my friends out of my life because I either honestly didn't have the energy to do stuff with them and keep in touch, or just spent my days sulking about how terrible I feel (and tbh there have been times I really did feel absolutely terrible, what with radiotherapy and surgery and all) instead of spending time with people who cared about me, so now nobody even asks me out to things anymore or gets in touch. Not that I had all that many friends in the first place, being a bit of a weirdo loner to start with, so it's no surprise that the few I had left evaporated when all I could talk about was how terrible I felt after getting an internal organ nuked or how I had to go to the emergency department again because of XYZ.

Slowly trying to come to terms and learn to live with chronic illness now that the acute stuff is over, but I've isolated myself so efficiently that it's hard to pick up my life from where I left it before I got sick. So right now the place I'm at is that I'm a bloated aging ruin of a person in a world that's rapidly going down the shitter, and I just feel so hopeless about, well, everything.

I finally discovered why my taste is messed up since I'm taking my ADHD medication. It turns out it's a side effect that doesn't disappear, and apparently I can't do anything about it.

Besides that, I've been hyperfocused in this game called Dungeon Crawl Stone Soup. Trying to pass the main dungeon, but dying miserably because of things.

And I'm watching two TV series, after several months without consuming any media, except for the news. One is "Red Dwarf". The other is "Doctor Who".

Testing my new instance

Been another week of pointless stressful bullshit at work for me, which eats into my real life outside of work more than I'd like. That being said, making some progress on finding a therapist (a surprisingly difficult process it seems) and also a driving instructor -- almost made it to 30 without learning to drive, but the time is now!

Also starting the process of ditching music streaming in favour of Bandcamp, which has been fun. Been feeling some real nostalgia for the old days of buying tracks off iTunes!

Well, things have been up and down for me - lots and lots of stress factors from what feels like every potential facet of my life for a long time now. I've been working on trying to improve that where I can, and getting help from mental health professionals too.

But on the upside, yesterday I got to hang out with a couple of friends that I haven't gotten to in a while, along with meeting some of their friends, and it was a blast! We did the "Last Wish" raid in Destiny 2 which was a very fun time! It did a very good job at reminding me that even though bad things can happen, there's still some good moments to be had.

Been doing alright.

Feel burnt out and tired. Worst part is that when I have to sleep, I'm never tired so I end up sleeping about 5 hours. I sometimes take edibles to fall asleep, but it became a bad habit and a couple weeks ago I ran out and I was feeling some sort of dread so I stopped taking them. It has definitely affected the amount of time I sleep, but at least I don't feel groggy in the morning anymore.

I'm planning a trip with my girlfriend for our one year anniversary. We are probably going to a small cabin at a nearby lake. I'm really looking forward to spending time with her. Whiskey, good food, and my girlfriend sounds really nice, but for now we work.

8 work days left before im finally free of the retail industry, feels good I feel like todays gaming stream also went well ( finished yakuza 1 on the ps2)

woke up to a sick dog this morning AND I had to go into the office today :(

First dinner date in 2 years for me. Gonna have a panic attack. Wish me luck!

Not terrible thus far. Getting over a cold and am already sick of hearing about the Twitter rebrand, but otherwise better than the past few days.

Really starting to wish that Lemmy had a way to block entire instances. It feels silly that my choices are to either block everything labeled as NSFW (including discussions, comics, etc that aren’t necessarily sexual in nature but not appropriate for work), or have to block an endless sea of furry porn on the “All” timeline, one community at a time (no judgement, just not what I’m on Lemmy for).