Mercival

Seriously sir/ma'am, did you go to the beach that makes you old, or run away from a retirement home?

My dad when he chose not to wear a condom.

Have you ever lasted long enough, to find and defeat the final boss of customer support?

Lol, rose-scented shea butter, starch and baking soda deodorant all the way baby. You apply it once a day, twice at most, it moisturizes and nourishes your skin, lasts all day, there's no plastic and you get to laugh in the face of fragile masculinity.

They taste like formic acid pretty much

Once I take my evening pills, I literally stare into my phone until I drop dead.

It's really weird when you fall asleep with your phone in your hand, and your hand suddenly relaxes making the phone flop onto you waking you up.

It's so odd to use that expression in Fahrenheit though. 70 is by definition just as likely as 130.

I went to a school where the admission requirement by law is IQ 130, and it's not like you'd see the kids as fundamentally different from you if you're within 1std of the mean (85-115, which is 68% of the population).

Ah yes.

Using the Celsius scale offset by ~273.15 must be the most galaxy brain shit I've ever seen.

My sibling in Satan, that's the backbone of the metric system. Nobody said anything about units.

Those sexy sexy parabolas

Wolfram Alpha is crying in binary for being abused like this.

I mean, they were probably a kitten when they arrived at the beach, so no surprise there.