Thank you for the TL;dw. Sincerely appreciated.

We moved from the Capital District of NY - which i loved - to the Midwest where my wife is from because money goes about three times as far here and I was still making NY money at the time.

Lots I miss from “back east generally, but not the prices.

I would have spelled that, “pay for my fountain pens and ink, and let me talk to my wife while she’s conscious,” but we are on same page.

Got caught young and “encouraged” into a stupid amount of hours so the boss could go fuck off. Won’t make that mistake again. WFH or not, if you expect 60+ a week, you can kiss my ass.

While that’s getting harder - RTO vibe is strong - I’m on same page.

I’ve had to pass on a few interesting opportunities, but Its served me well.

If I go out, it’s because I need something that can’t be shipped or door dashed, and/or it’s imprudent to pay the vig for delivery.

2x $4.99 bottles of wine? Yeah not paying $40 for that, I’ll take the risk.

Working on that POV, it’s basically always worth paying the vig to minimise my human interaction.

Edit: have WFH since c. 2012, so it makes zero sense to take the medical and driving risk to do otherwise, except for gig work in a pinch.

Demanding hybrid (“hybrid in Arizona”) is a clear sign the company is working towards RTO, and you’d have to wave a pretty big carrot to get me to move quickly anyway. OOP max met for the year, so…

Now that I’m $7k in on that stuff, why the hell would I make a move in May? I’ll suffer until the Sept deadline and peak season we suffer through, and then start looking.

Well, I’ll start looking before that, demo my loyalty by pushing out start date, and go from there. Like everyone else.

Wouldn’t cry if nothing else presents though, it’s not terrible company given that it’s non-union. Damn, I miss the CWA, but I was maybe twenty at the time and didn’t grasp the value fully.

PolicyCancelledByCarrier

If canx notice has been received, processed, blah blah, eventually it’s set to true.

If/when a reinstatement is received, set to false.

Zero ambiguity, something along that line saved my tail when working with devs in different countries with different insurance customs.

Carrier sent letter telling policy holder to get bent because “fuck you, pay me?” Field is true.

Otherwise, or with reinstatement letter, field true.

Used it in a pinch once, and realized how incredibly awesome it is. Now, it’s my go-to.

Haven’t tried data and files on same stick, but…. Now I want to.

Have made numerous mockups for devs, as a PM, that way.

When you have one style sheet for users and admins, you get creative.

At the time, building it wasn’t my problem. Explaining what needed to be built was, and the devs in question were not native speakers of same language I was.

Show, not tell, works quite well IFF you recognize immediately when it’s needed.

Copy the thing you want from where it is, paste it where it needs to be, and tweak the (easily recognisable by any human, cmon) verbiage.

I’m not a particularly visual person, so dev tools was quite useful for that. “${foreach} state, ${foreach} county, ${foreach} postal code,” here is the expected UI both expanded and not, beats hell out of trying to spec out what amounts to the better part of an RFC, especially when I am not the one actually writing the code and also not the one who came up with the straight up crazy schema.

Schema created years ago, and there’s only money to add this UI to replace an UPDATE WHERE that the boss decided he didn’t like because he didn’t “get it” and couldn’t personally do it if ever needed (literally no world where it would be needed, and boss didn’t understand the geo that made the whole thing necessary, but…. That’s life.)

(Edit: created, not ‘creates’, and FreeMarker is brutal. Things that binary work/do not work belong in code, not templates. Templates should be as tolerant as is sane given a use case. Boss wouldn’t know HTML or a variable if I whacked him over the head with a variable (length walking staff))

You say, as if that sentiment isn’t nearly universal.

Only reason dd hasn’t bitten me is that in my head, if and of make perfect sense as input and output.

Doesn’t mean I won’t make that error tomorrow, ofc. But I tend not to alias except harmless stuff to avoid that very problem.

The “good” news - and your landlord might benefit from hearing this in advance - is that as I understand it, you’ll be paid salary for any shutdown period, after it’s resolved. Could be a meaningful amount of money depending on how long. Making sure the ll understands that could buy you some time, but depends on them.

I’ll assume you don’t qualify for any assistance programs given a gov salary and a second job plus your wife’s income. But…. Check anyway. Some states are rather more generous.

I THINK you might be eligible for unemployment during any shutdown, but generally there’s a waiting period of a week, it’s max 2/3 of income with a hard cap, and I cannot cite a source that says you do qualify. Worth diggging into, very state specific.

I’ve taken to gig work, so that the misc money I spend on myself doesn’t come off “rea” income. With a second job that might not be practical, but might be for your wife if you live in or near a relatively safe city. I ignore gigs in my hometown entirely, I make more in the nearest major city and they have “hourly” pay there so I make something worthwhile even without a tip (25% of orders don’t tip, roughly, from my experience).

As far as your mental health, which is the real focus here…. A couple things come to mind.

It’s short term hardship, you need to get through days or weeks - not a way of life. Understanding and actually internalizing that has helped me through some significant rough patches.

If at all possible, don’t short groceries or the miscellaneous money your wife spends on little stuff, including her. You don’t function well without decent food. Aldi is one possibility, can be cheaper for some things.

I’d expect family to be sympathetic to the potential shutdown, but I understand feeling like you shouldn’t ask for more. Guess what, though - they know the position you’re in already, and the potential shutdown is public knowledge as well. OTOH, that’s assuming they are decent humans and that they have the money in the first place. I don’t and can’t know if either are true.

Gotta be honest, selling stuff is a) getting ripped off, b) depressing af, and c) you’ll have to spend money to replace it down the road. It’s to be avoided if at all possible, for all of those reasons.

You’ve already rented a room, that’s more than I’d be able to do - I WFH so the spare room is my office, and the only place I can maintain some confidentiality of data, which is a base expectation of the field.

Don’t know how far behind you are on utilities, but most states make it fairly easy to find just how far you can push “past due”, and what arrangements can be made.

Some states require reasonable payment arrangements to split the bill across future months, some don’t. Worth exploring. You want to keep the lights on, at nearly any cost, because usually they’ll expect entire past due amount plus deposit to reconnect. Same for gas/water, as applicable.

Comcast has offered 10 day extensions to me,for internet only. Have to chat and ask for it, though that may vary by state as well

Also…. Remember there’s no guarantee a shutdown will occur, or last a long time. As we saw, last minute action is very possible. Also, if I remember the timeline correctly, we passed a 45 day CR and there are still 30 ish days left before that happens.

Food pantries if needed - no one there is judging, they wouldn’t volunteer if they did. You almost certainly will walk out with way more stuff than you expected. You’ll need to fill in holes, but that’s a short term way to reduce your grocery bill by a meaningful amount, since most staples are there.

Take care of yourself, it matters. The mental health side of this creates a slippery slope that’s easy to descend into and hard to get out of. Even if that just means sometimes buying a thing you particularly like as a reward for getting through the week. Compare the cost of me making a crab cake once a month, with the cost of additional therapy because I tried to live with zero extras. Silly example, but total self-denial is positively brutal to your brain, and tends to turn desire into cravings.

Wish I had more advice, but I hope something in there helps. You probably took a gov job at least partially because it (generally) offers stability, I’m sorry that our leg branch can’t seem to maintain that.

One more thing - unless you’re likely to get a giant pay bump, now is probably not the time to look for a new job. That takes time to spin up and find the right one, and the long term hit to eg any pension is significant. It also doesn’t solve immediate issues, since generally checks are delayed a pay cycle or so for processing.

Again, I’m sorry this is happening to you, and I wish I could do more for you and your colleagues. You have no dog in this fight, and neither your nor the military’s paychecks should be impacted.