this post was submitted on 05 Sep 2023
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A week ago, my mom figured out how to get through my bedroom door lock: using a screwdriver. I've heard her on a phone call with my uncle, and he showed her the trick. Whenever I don't respond or give in, she could just insert the screwdriver through my lock, and bam, she can come in whenever she wants to.

I've searched online for getting around this, and I've decided on:

  • Getting a lock. (or something that (b)locks the door)
    • Using a portable lock. (Addalock, any others)
    • Using a doorstop.
    • Make your own lock. (like using a fork)

But then I thought that my mom would still enter using the screwdriver. The handle's loose, so she knows she's able to barge in. I could be wrong, though.

My door jamb has a dent, so she has a peephole to look in and might figure out why the door wouldn't open.

Should I be able to get a lock? If not, are there any alternatives or other solutions?

Edit: Wanted to make a quick edit. My mom shows narcissistic traits, and would barge in the room for her own entertainment. I've tried asking her to leave a few times, ~~even discussing about it with her,~~ but she isn't seeming interested to understand or listen. I would stay as far from her in my room in order to not attract her.

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[–] [email protected] 263 points 1 year ago (5 children)

If you are in a situation where needing to barricade your door to prevent your parent's entry is a regular occurrence, it is probably time to involve child protective services. You don't need to give details of your situation to strangers on the internet, but I would highly encourage you to go to a trusted friend or family member's home and contact the authorities.

[–] [email protected] 75 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Yeah this has Bigger Problems written all over it. While it is useful to have a technical answer to this immediate problem, a method to barricading the door would at best be a delaying tactic. The actual problem will still exist, and there very likely will be retaliation like the mom completely removing the door.

[–] [email protected] 43 points 1 year ago (2 children)

I mean, OP is a literal child....

So on one hand it makes sense they'd think this would be a valid strategy "for a few months", but it also means there's a non-zero chance their parents are actually in the right and OP wants to stay in their room 24/7 watching streamers.

Regardless of who's at fault, CPS is a much better resource than strangers on social media.

[–] [email protected] 23 points 1 year ago (2 children)

I mean, there is a problem somewhere if the parents feel the need to basically break into their child's room. Either they don't have an ounce of respect for their child's privacy or the child is doing something worrying that truly warrants their parents being so paranoid about it.

Either way, yeah, we aren't really a good resource. There's a much bigger problem here.

[–] [email protected] 17 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Read the post again:

Whenever I don’t respond or give in, she could just insert the screwdriver through my lock, and bam, she can come in whenever she wants to.

It sounds like the mom knocks and/or asks OP a question and OP is just ignoring her until she opens the door.

Then tries to hide?

I would stay as far from her in my room in order to not attract her.

Like, they're acting like it's Jurassic Park and their mom is a T Rex...

A good parent would check on a kid that's not responding and spending an inordinate amount of time in their room. They wouldn't just let them hide in their 24/7

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 year ago (1 children)

A good parent does NOT break down a door ffs. The kid isn't dead, he's hiding from someone who should make him feel safe. If it was a good parent, he should be able to make his own choices (to an extent) and shouldn't feel the need to barricade the door from them

[–] [email protected] -3 points 1 year ago

A good parent does NOT break down a door ffs.

No one says she has....

Are you also 14? Because I just can't picture a grown adult not getting this.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 1 year ago (2 children)

OP is blaming Mom’s “narcissistic tendencies” and everyone instantly takes that side. But OP says the uncle helped her figure out how to open the door. So clearly the uncle is a part of this unjust conspiracy as well. The more reasonable conclusion is that the adults in OPs life might have good reason to be accessing their room.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 year ago

The actual reasonable conclusion is not to jump to conclusions at all.

[–] [email protected] -2 points 1 year ago

I couldnt agree more. There is clearly room for concern.

[–] [email protected] 32 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (2 children)

Hey, sorry, in a perfect world that would be the answer but in most places no, CPS will not be a good idea. At best they can remove you from that situation at which point you enter the very, very under-funded foster care system. This means a loss of friends and family perhaps changing schools alot of the time not enough food to eat some nights, or proper clothes, education, protection, etc.

On top of this, often those in charge of these places are quite terrible people too. Abusive mentally, sexually, or physically.

At worse, and more commonly, they do nothing and the abuse gets worse.

I really wouldn't suggest this option so willingly unless you knew the local system or the abuse was much worse than the, admitadly very concerning and not something this kid should have to deal with, current description.

[–] [email protected] 15 points 1 year ago

From what I've heard on the internet, CPS will only take children away as a LAST option, not as a first one. There are all kinds of interventions that can happen before that, like mandating recurring surprise inspections, parenting classes, etc.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I don't know much about CPS, but now that I think about it, it's not really ideal for my situation.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 year ago

I don't know your situation. Though I'd caution you about contacting them without knowing your local CPS and their track record, I hope if it is or becomes untenable that'll be an option.

I wish the best for you. I know quite a few people who've had terrible experiances with their parents, I hope like them things can get better for you with time

[–] [email protected] 21 points 1 year ago

Depends on how old OP is and what's going on exactly: Are they a teenager and the parent is worried they're abusing drugs or something? We don't really know what's going on exactly, could be nefarious or it could just be someone trying to be a good parent.

[–] [email protected] 17 points 1 year ago

I couldn't say any better