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this post was submitted on 16 May 2024
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Asklemmy
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I'm 5'6" and find the term childish and insulting. It's not the short part, it's the king part. I am not a king, I'm a regular guy working a regular job.
"Body positivity" is garbage. People should be honest and support healthy lifestyles. Twisting reality to make someone comfortable is detrimental to their physical and mental health.
I don't understand the reasoning but, across the board, it seems today's culture is very quick to accept literal delusions in place of reality for the sake of feelings and "mental well being".
I think that you have internalized a version of body positivity that lies on the most extreme end of what is meant by that phrase. Body positivity - be comfortable with who you are and do not put down on others due to their body.
The odds are that I am significantly fatter than you. The odds also favor that I am significantly stronger than you, even if you lift weights. I can also probably walk all day much farther than you can.
Would it be healthier if I lose body fat? Absolutely. Have I tried for 20 years to do that? Yes. I am not ignorant regarding nutrition. I am not lazy. I am not overall lacking willpower. I am fat but otherwise healthy.
Body positively means that my doctor treats my body fat as what it is - one aspect of my overall health. He does not assume that every problem I have is because I am fat, even though changing that would improve some aspects of my health.
Body positively also means that I am not going to hide when I go to the beach. I am going to go shirtless and enjoy myself. If you do not find me sexually attractive, that is fine. If you are going to shame or mock me for my body fat, then you are an asshole. If I catch wind of you mocking me, I will quietly estimate how many times your bodyweight I will deadlift on Monday. If you choose to mock the scars that cover parts of my body from extreme, life-saving surgery, I may feel the need to firmly educate you on exactly what sort of asshole you are.
Body positively often conjures the image of a morbidly obese girl on OnlyFans who lets people pay to watch her binge and intentionally get fatter while she says being purposefully inactive is just as healthy as hitting the gym. The real versions of that person are extremely rare, but their radicalism, vociferous nature, and platform make their voices much louder in comparison. Their argument is also easy to find flaw with and mock, so they get used as if they are a typical example of body positivity.
You are right in that the woman I describe above needs help and is not behaving in a safe or healthy way. I also understand why you might think that is the norm. She is not, though, and I would encourage you to look deeper at the meaning of the "movement."
The "you" above is generic and based on broad assumptions. You, the reader, might be stronger than me and have way more endurance than me. You also might be fatter than I am. The odds are very good that you are also not an asshole. My point was to call out variances from the norm as convenient examples, of which I have plenty in both directions.
If you’re a hundred pounds overweight, you should not be comfortable with who you are. People who support or celebrate morbid obesity are bad people.
It does not appear that you are really listening to others to do much as commenting pithy things, and I am not sure if you have some specific reason for this or if you are just picking fights.
But let's still break this down. Literally no one here is talking about celebrating morbid obesity. That is pretty much a straw man at this point.
Morbidly obese people should be able to look in the mirror and think to themselves, "I look good today!" They should be allowed to go out without worry that someone will make fun of them. They should be able to go to the doctor and be heard instead of the doctor assuming every health problem is only caused by obesity.
If you disagree with the above statements, please be very clear as to why. Everybody deserves quality medical care from their physician. Everybody deserves to not hate themselves. Everybody deserves to not be kicked for their appearance.
No one is saying, "Woo-hoo! Try to be so fat it harms your health!" I would suggest you read up on the science of weight loss and why so many little are obese these days. There is not universal consensus, but there is general agreement that the deck is highly stacked against many people, and extra body fat is not a simple condition to deal with in many circumstances.
People should try to lead the healthiest lifestyle they are reasonably able. No one is stating otherwise.
Your other comment I can't respond to for whatever the Lemmy reason lol, I very much like your take on these matters, also slightly adjacent, what is your dead?
Thank you. I don't have notes handy, but my deadlift was around 360 lbs. for 8-12 when I was last training it directly. A few health-related issues have sidelined my lifting for a couple months (post-cancer life sucks sometimes), but I am cleared to get back into the gym next week!
My legs are where I really shine, with my calculated one rep max for the sled press up in the mid 800s and working sets in the 600s. That is my lift where people stop and look twice.
Maybe no one "here" is celebrating it but I see it in pop culture a lot. I agree, no one should be making fun of people. I never suggested otherwise.
Our culture accepts that being 50+ pounds overweight is perfectly fine. This should not be normal or okay. Everyone should feel personal responsibility to live a healthy lifestyle but our public acceptance of being obese has shifted the scale, so to speak, of what is normal.
No one is talking about what a normal healthy weight is because that would impact revenue for food producers. No one talks about what a healthy lifestyle is because that would impact revenue of the entertainment industry. We live in a sick world that promotes laziness and addiction and being overweight. We care more about watching Netflix than we do about playing outside.
Again, I don't know where people got the impression that I'm supporting making fun of people being fat. I'm saying that we as a culture should not accept that most of us are fat. Body positivity is detrimental to a person's physical and mental well being - that's not to say they should be "shamed" or "made fun of". People should be aware of their flaws and supported to achieve personal goals. Our culture should shift away from the couch and DoorDash and towards the park and healthy food prep.
Yeah, shits me to tears that people think it's OK,
I lost 35kgs through diet exercise etc and I felt absolutely amazing at the 30kg loss mark.
Didn't think I felt bad at 125kg at 6ft tall when I hit 95 I felt amazing. Knees joints life everything easy.
Getting down to 90 on strict diet was hard and life just wasn't fun anymore. Sure 6pack was cool and all but just no fun. I'm not blessed with those skinny genetics.
Anyone who's fat and not been skinny in their adult life shouldn't think they're healthy and happy because everything is better when you're actually at a healthy weight.
I agree that we should strive for people to be healthy. But there's a lot of evidence to suggest that shame not only is ineffective but can actually have the opposite effect.
Besides, I think you're being pretty reductive. Health includes both physical and mental, we should take steps to improve both of these. And I get the sense that you specifically take issue with body positivity specifically around fat people, as I assume you don't think being short or tall is unhealthy. In which case, you're ignoring the economics of it (at least in America, there are a ton of government subsidies for corn, incentivizing businesses to load up our food with corn syrup).
The issue is complex and so would any solutions. At least in America, we need to deincentivize the production of unhealthy food, better access to healthcare, and cultural shifts as well. And I'm sure there's a whole lot I'm missing.
If you’re ashamed for being overweight, that’s something that should motivate you to lose the weight. Embracing being fat and blaming others is not healthy, it’s delusional.
There’s also a ton of government subsidizes for other fruits and vegetables. Don’t blame the government for your poor eating habits. Learn to prepare real food. It’s healthier, cheaper, and more abundant. You don’t need to deincentivize producing unhealthy food, you just need to choose not to eat it.
This culture of supporting people who are overweight is making us all lose sight of what a healthy lifestyle looks like. As generations spend less time working physically and more time sitting, our diets should be moving towards far less calories. Instead, we’re being made into nothing more than consumers who click a button to have bad food delivered to us while we sit on the couch.
The only complex issue is how we got here. It’s not complex to make healthier choices. I’d argue it’s easier than what we’re doing now. To quote Michael Pollan, “eat food, not too much, mostly plants”.
You would think so, but you'd be wrong. As I said before, shaming not only doesn't work but has the opposite effect.
As James Corden said:
If you're sincere in your desire to make people healthier, then shame is not the way.
If you're only interested in a feeling of superiority, then carry on I guess.
Except that I never suggested people should be shamed by others or made fun of. I said if a person felt ashamed of themselves, that should motivate them.
Do I need to repeat myself for a 3rd time? Do you not realize that "ashamed" is the adjective form of "shame"?
Wow. You’re really stuck on not engaging in this conversation. You can lie to yourself all you want and pretend you’re somehow more virtuous than everyone else. I’m not taking the bait.
I'm frankly not even clear what the conversation is that you're trying to have. You claim, "I'm not saying we should shame people" and then go on to once again declare that "if people feel ashamed they'll lose weight". So which is it, is shame helpful as a weightloss tool or not? Spoiler alert: it's not.
To me it honestly seems like you accidentally triple downed on an objectively bad position and are trying to buzzword your way out of it with accusations of virtue signaling and trolling.
Just take the L and move on dude.
I don't know if you're trolling me or you genuinely don't understand words.
To shame someone is entirely different than to feel ashamed of yourself. If you kick a dog, you should feel ashamed of yourself without someone shaming you. If you forgo a healthy weight or lifestyle in favor of overconsumption and ignorance, you should feel ashamed of yourself without someone shaming you. Someone informing you that you are overweight is not the same as them shaming you.
I swear, people are so hell bent on virtue signaling that they lose all sense of reality.
Is it? The end result is a feeling of shame. And that feeling of shame, doesn't make people lose weight. I've now said it for the 4th time. But yeah, I'm the one that doesn't understand words.
I see, so it's a moral failing of someone to be fat? Akin to kicking a dog? Wild take.
In the end, you're right. I'm not interested in having this conversation. Because this isn't a conversation about making people healthier, it's a moral conversation. And I don't think someone is immoral for having an eating disorder just as I don't think someone is immoral for having cancer.
If you would like to discuss actionable, material ways to help people I'm all in. If you want to larp as a televangelist screeching about the evils of being fat, I'm out.
LOL. You’re just arguing with yourself and your own made up conversation at this point. You don’t have to answer but I am curious if you’re an adult.
Literally quoting you lol.
I'm old enough to remember "asl?". Why do you ask about my age, looking for an easy way to dismiss me?
Out of curiosity, are you religious?
Let me preface what I want to say with the fact that I have previously lost half of my bodyweight largely because of a lack of body positivity in my head, and it’s still lacking.
You seem to be of the mind that people who have “unhealthy habits” should be shamed into living a healthier life. Where does that end? Should only people who physically appear to be unhealthy be shamed? Should people who have actual unhealthy bodies be shamed? Should people who have invisible unhealthy habits like hidden bulimia be shamed? Should people who have unhealthy mental conditions that are only diagnosable by experts be shamed?
I’m not being sarcastic or rhetorical, I’m genuinely curious where the line should be drawn. Some people are physically incapable of losing weight. Some people are perfectly healthy despite appearing overweight, yet they are treated like less valuable people because they don’t conform to beauty standards. Some people are notably ill despite fitting conventional beauty standards.
Body positivity is about eliminating social standards of beauty that ignore health, not about making unhealthy people think they’re better off being unhealthy. Furthermore, health is absolutely a luxury for many people. When survival is expensive, surviving with the time and money to take care of your body can be unattainable
I never said or suggested that and resent you putting those words into my mouth. No one should make fun of someone's weight. No one should shame someone because of their weight. You're making up a lot of ideas that I never presented. I'm not spending any more time dissecting everything you claim I said and defending myself. I think I was pretty clear about how our culture supports and celebrates being fat and I don't think that's beneficial for people's mental or physical health.
If you think the culture celebrates being unhealthy then you should know the only part of the culture that does that is the corporations that benefit off of it. The rest of us are trying to eliminate the unconscious bias people have against people who are “fat.”
If you see someone who you think is unhealthy because they “fat,” think again.
I am not observing the same reality you’re describing. I am seeing a culture of people who celebrate themselves and others who are severely obese, as if that’s a good thing. I have witnessed first hand that people are trying to gain weight because they believe it’s attractive and empowering. I have witnessed discussion that celebrates laziness and consumerism as goals to be rewarded over hard work and physical and mental well being.
I agree that corporate propaganda is a portion of this culture and I’m saying that we all need to recognize that we’ve been brain washed. More so, the propaganda is coming from people who already feel bad about themselves and are forcing others to accept them and their disinterest in being healthy.
“I’m fat and don’t care to lose weight, you should celebrate me and you should be like me too.” Apparently, anyone who chimes back suggesting they go to a doctor and get a health check is “shaming” them. You have to support them, you have to say “you do you, live your best life”, etc otherwise you’re disparaging them. It’s not about you giving a shit about that person, it’s about you virtue signaling so no one can judge you.
Feels like you are falling in to the same critism trap that catches "Pride" events, lots of people say that they can be proud of lots of things, not nessecarily an indentity or sexuality.
But pride is more about not feeling shame for things you can't control. Body positivity is about way more than overweight people, but being happy of who you are regardless of any stigma.
It's not my place to say people should like "short kings", I truly couldnt care less about individuals liking or disliking a given term. I just feel your reasoning would be better built upon infantalizing without attacking people that are fidng zen outside of unfair cultural stigma.
Do you think short people are living an unhealthy lifestyle?
They are if they try to use delusion to make themselves feel better.
Fucking amen