I don't want to stop him.
this post was submitted on 13 Jun 2024
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I want to be him.
I'd fuck him.
20 gallons a year isn't much at all.
"Man reasonably consumes cheese" isn't as catchy I suppose.
The average American consumes something like 40 lbs of cheese a year per the USDA. I can’t tell you how much a gallon of cheese weighs but it seems like it’s a fair bit more than 2 lbs each.
Per Google, and doing the math, a gallon of cheese is 8 pounds (roughly 4kg). So that's 160lbs in a year.
Holy shit that's a fucking lot of cheese. Someone stop this madman.
That's about a pound of cheese every two days. Pretty sure I could hit that number without any trouble at all.
It's 0.85 cups per day every day of the year.
It's not a lot, but he's either horrifyingly consistent or floods his body with cheese on a few ritualistic days. I fear either option.
An average of ~600 calories a day or so from liquid cheey.
I don't know if that's a typo, but "cheey" is a delightfully terrible name that I am stealing.
Liquid "cheese"
Ashes to ashes, milk to liquid cheese.
I feel like throwing up thinking about what 1 spoon of that stuff would be like.
starts rhythmic clapping
HO-DEE-HOTEN-DOTEN-DAY, HO-DEE-HOTEN-DAY-O! HO-DEE-HOTEN-DOTEN-DAY...
FATTENING UP OUR TAAAAPE WOOOOORMS!
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I'm open-source; check me out at GitHub.
That much cheese will stop him just wait
It would stop you mortal.
Yes it surely would. Hence i do not ingest such a monstrous mound
Oh, that cheese is stopping him. Stopping him right up.
If it's so wrong, why does it feel so right?
Can't stop. Won't stop.
Go go gadget cardiac arrest!
This is how The Battle of Wisconsin starts.
The cheese gobbler
Understandable.
Time for the next rewrite of Seven Samurai
Gouda for him, though. However Brie his 15 minutes may be, let him enjoy it. 20 gallons over the course is not even all that much. That's barely more than a gallon a month. If you speak Portuguese, that's like less than 4 liters. A liter a week of cheese isn't exactly uncommon. That's like a few salads, some mac and cheese, a pizza, several cheese quesadillas, a box of Hungry Helper, and some cheese strings, plus cream cheese bagels, and a sprinkle of parm on the pizza. Who hasn't had one of those types of week before?
Can you blame him? That's shits good asf
I just did the math, 200gal is 2664.5 fl oz (in freedom units) this means over 365 days hes eating 7.3 fl oz a day. 1 fl oz has about 50kcals so (ironicly) he's eating 365kcals of cheese
This has to be a sign from god
Just cheese sauce, or including the noodles?
Where are you getting the calorie reference from?
Honestly I just asked chatGPT lmao, specifically cheese sauce no noodle
He's the hero we need.
Kraft meals + ketchup + tapeworm food.