this post was submitted on 11 Aug 2023
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Judge Lewis A. Kaplan ordered the former billionaire remanded after prosecutors pushed to have his bail revoked, citing violations that included Bankman-Fried’s admitted usage of VPN software that he said was to watch an NFL game and the judge’s view that he had attempted to tamper with witnesses “at least twice.”

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[–] [email protected] 156 points 10 months ago (1 children)

To quote a great poet, a haiku:

ha ha ha ha ha

ha ha ha ha ha ha ha

ha ha ha fuck you

[–] [email protected] 19 points 10 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 10 points 10 months ago (1 children)

I must obligingly credit the great MiddleAgeRiot, who should really get over to the fediverse already: https://twitter.com/middleageriot/status/1666969837988356096

[–] [email protected] 8 points 10 months ago

He's on bsky, if that helps @middleageriot.bsky.social

[–] [email protected] 120 points 10 months ago (2 children)

Fuckin finally. So, so tired of every white collar shitbro being afforded every opportunity to keep being a shitstain.

Everyone from fuckin SBF to Donald Fuckin Trump.

Stop glad handing these pricks and treat them like you would any other criminal, worthless fucking "justice" system.

Regular ass people can be beaten and arrested based on cops getting the wrong person, and then when you justifiably "resisted" because you're fucking innocent, it means you'll have "resisting arrest" charges following you the rest of your fucking life.

Yet these pricks can make calls about when they'll turn themselves in.

[–] [email protected] 63 points 10 months ago (1 children)

fuck this fucking guy so hard. The fact that he's been able to UP UNTIL NOW spend all his time in the lap of luxury in palo alto is a disgrace.

[–] [email protected] 32 points 10 months ago

He was living in a house his parents bought with money laundered from user deposits that he stole. His parents are paying his lawyers with that money, too.

[–] [email protected] 52 points 10 months ago (1 children)

Dudes a moron. All he had to do was sit at home and do nothing.

[–] [email protected] 22 points 10 months ago

Just goes to show Sammy is nothing more than a techbro.

[–] [email protected] 20 points 10 months ago

This is the best summary I could come up with:


FTX co-founder Sam Bankman-Fried (SBF) has been on house arrest in California since December while awaiting trial on fraud and money laundering charges over the crypto exchange’s collapse, but today he was sent to jail, as first reported by Inner City Press.

Judge Lewis A. Kaplan ordered the former billionaire remanded after prosecutors pushed to have his bail revoked, citing violations that included Bankman-Fried’s admitted usage of VPN software that he said was to watch an NFL game and the judge’s view that he had attempted to tamper with witnesses “at least twice.”

Docket entry from Friday’s Bond Revocation Hearing:

The witness tampering covered Bankman-Fried sharing documents used in a New York Times article reporting on diary entries written by Caroline Ellison, the former co-CEO of Alameda Research and SBF’s ex, who has already pleaded guilty and is cooperating as a witness against him.

The other incident covered Bankman-Fried’s attempts in January to contact FTX general counsel Ryne Miller over email and the encrypted messaging platform Signal.


I'm a bot and I'm open source!

[–] [email protected] 19 points 10 months ago

I can't believe these ethical altruists are so amoral. Wow

[–] [email protected] 18 points 10 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 7 points 10 months ago

Sam Bankman-Deepfried

[–] [email protected] 13 points 10 months ago

You don't get to be a billionaire by paying for NFL Sunday Ticket. Embrace hustle and grind culture!

[–] [email protected] 12 points 10 months ago (2 children)

I’m confused. What is the connection between using a VPN and witness tampering? Anyone care to explain?

[–] [email protected] 31 points 10 months ago (1 children)

They're both violations of the conditions of release. Two separate violations, unrelated except for being prohibited behavior.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 10 months ago (1 children)

is VPN prohibition a general condition of these situations or was this specific to this case? And can you clarify why using VPN violations? Sorry I’m daft on the legalities of this.

[–] [email protected] 28 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago)

It would be a general bypass of monitored internet connectivity. One of his conditions was monitored internet access. VPNs are almost always encrypted, which bypasses said monitoring.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 10 months ago

Sounds like they're two different violations to me

[–] [email protected] 11 points 10 months ago

NOOOO WHAT ABOUT THE EFFECTIVE ALTRUISMINOS? WHO WILL WE TURN TO ENSURE TRILLIONS OF IMMORTAL CYBER GODS SMILING BACK AT US IN THE FAR FUTURE? wojak-nooo

[–] [email protected] 10 points 10 months ago

sam bankrun-fraud

[–] [email protected] 9 points 10 months ago

Maybe he can bring some effective altruism to his cell mates.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 10 months ago
[–] [email protected] 7 points 10 months ago
[–] [email protected] 6 points 10 months ago (2 children)

I had no idea that VPN usage was controversial. I had to use them for work in the past. I just assumed that private parties would be using them eventually.

[–] [email protected] 29 points 10 months ago

@MonsiuerPatEBrown @ken27238 i think it was more of the violation of terms of his house arrest

[–] [email protected] 17 points 10 months ago

It’s only controversial if your online life is being monitored as a condition of bail. The VPN gets around the monitoring.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 10 months ago
[–] [email protected] 2 points 10 months ago

boo hoo, said nobody

[–] [email protected] 2 points 10 months ago (1 children)

I know that our incarceration facilities are inhumane but would be lying if there wasn’t a bit of ugly schadenfreude I feel knowing he’ll be in one of the most notorious places in the whole system. No kiddie gloves

[–] [email protected] 3 points 10 months ago

Whatever prison he goes to wouldn't be as bad as the ones regular folks go to.