this post was submitted on 13 Aug 2023
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After reading the list, a dog groomer beats a barber. Plus I can snap/bite?

all 36 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] [email protected] 46 points 10 months ago (1 children)

I bite all my hair dressers.

[–] [email protected] 22 points 10 months ago (2 children)

I pee on mine to assert dominance.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 10 months ago

Some of them might like that (̆̈ ̆̈̆̈͡°̆̈ ̆̈̆̈͜ʖ̆̈ ̆̈̆̈͡°̆̈)̆̈

[–] [email protected] 1 points 10 months ago

Only way to get a good haircut really

[–] [email protected] 45 points 10 months ago (2 children)

11: Your hairdresser is unlikely to be bitten by ticks or fleas that are hidden in your hair.

[–] [email protected] 14 points 10 months ago

You don’t know me!

[–] [email protected] 9 points 10 months ago

Yeah, but human groomers have to deal with lice. So much worse.

[–] [email protected] 25 points 10 months ago

The likelihood of you pooping on the hairdresser is pretty slim.

... but never zero.

[–] [email protected] 23 points 10 months ago (1 children)

My groomer spends like 4 hours on my dog. She definitely under charges, because 4 hours with my hairdresser would cost thrice as much.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 10 months ago (1 children)

Thinking of it that way makes me feel a little better about how much I pay to groom my dogs. I spend about $50 for my own haircut and it takes about half an hour. My dog takes about 4 hours to groom and I do not pay $200 for it (little closer to that number than I would prefer, but that groomer is worth her weight in gold dealing with my big fluff balls).

[–] [email protected] 4 points 10 months ago (1 children)

Yeah my groomer is amazing. My dog is more than a handful, and he adores her. She does such a good job and takes so much time dealing with him.

Sadly we’re moving soon so we’ll no longer be able to go to her. Been working on getting him accustomed to me doing stuff, and he’s gotten so much better over the years.

He’s a rescue and he absolutely refused to even let anyone touch him behind his shoulders when we got him. Now I can even massage his back feet.

Couple of weeks ago I managed to clip all his nails by myself for the first time. Absolutely magical. 😭

[–] [email protected] 2 points 10 months ago

Aw, it's too bad your dog can't keep the same groomer. Mine are in love with theirs as well.

[–] [email protected] 21 points 10 months ago

I think they should've added in brackets with the second point saying "hopefully"

[–] [email protected] 14 points 10 months ago (2 children)

Number 1 is why I cut my own hair now.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 10 months ago (2 children)

Did you shit on your hairdresser???

[–] [email protected] 7 points 10 months ago

You... don't???

[–] [email protected] 2 points 10 months ago

Oh like you never have.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 10 months ago

I try but I always miss a few hairs.

[–] [email protected] 13 points 10 months ago (2 children)

I knew a person that had a Samoyed for which a simple bath was a two person, 4 hour endeavour, from start to finish, not including the initial chase and wrestle to get the dog in the bathtub.

The person had the groomers go to their house, where he had the bathtub already setup in the garage and all necessary towels and other assorted equipment.

The part of actually gettting the dog in the bathtub involved three person, with the dog's guardian starting to chase the dog around the property from early in the morning, as the dog would do his best to hide, run and stay out of reach of human hands when the bathtub was set on the garage.

The grooming session would be anything between €80 to €100, in 2008, and still the person thought it was cheap.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago) (1 children)

For all the work invested yeah that sounds cheap...

Although I wonder if there had been a better way to deal with this so the dog isn't so against it, afraid of it or whatever the issue was....

[–] [email protected] 7 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago)

The dog loved his bath but also loved to get everybody pissed off. It was a very stupid game of catch the dog played.

For the time, it wasn't cheap.

In 2008, here, the minimum wage was €426, so about €2,42 an hour. So €100 for 4 hours of work was a very good pay.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 10 months ago

Regarding the last one: You speak for yourself.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 10 months ago

Slim, but not zero!

[–] [email protected] 8 points 10 months ago (1 children)

Why is the numbering backwards?

[–] [email protected] 10 points 10 months ago

Because it is a top ten. The top most point is usually the punch line/most important. Hence you put it at the end to build Suspence.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 10 months ago (1 children)

I'm doing it all wrong--I need to start seeing a pet groomer.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 10 months ago

I plan on making the joke next time I’m in, see how it lands.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 10 months ago (2 children)

I paid $600 to have my dog’s teeth deep-cleaned and definitely had a similar though to this lol

Vets and groomers are wonderful

[–] [email protected] 3 points 10 months ago

Same here. I have a female bichon frise and I had no idea the teeth near the mustache tend to go bad along with the hip joints.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 10 months ago

My dog is going to need this before too long and our estimate was more in the range of $1,000 (large dog, needs more anesthesia, costs more). Not looking forward to it!

[–] [email protected] 4 points 10 months ago

The wife is a dog groomer.... ohhhhh boy the horror stories and pictures I get on the fucking DAILY.

BRUSH. YOUR. FUCKING. DOGS. OCCASIONALLY.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 10 months ago

Kinda makes a fella wonder, I'm not asking any questions.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 10 months ago

Another reason not to have a dog. Don't get me wrong, I love dogs a lot, but I just can't have one.

[–] [email protected] -5 points 10 months ago (1 children)

I will never understand why people economically disadvantage themselves by spending so much money on a freaking dog. Imagine not progressing in life because you had to spend $2000+/yr on dog grooming... Fucking insanity, I swear.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 10 months ago

Progressing to where? Wherever you are in life? Hard pass.