1315
submitted 9 months ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]

Can't trust anyone today....

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[-] [email protected] 132 points 9 months ago

My wife is a surgeon... Or as she puts it, "Standing in the way of God since 2005".

[-] [email protected] 7 points 9 months ago
[-] [email protected] 4 points 9 months ago

Meanwhile, God: 😏

[-] [email protected] 98 points 9 months ago

Just once I want to see a coach post game blaming God for favoring the other team.

[-] [email protected] 57 points 9 months ago

“Listen Jesus he’s got 15 years left to pay on his mortgage and at least 10 years of labor we can squeeze out of him. Plus this $110k medical bill to pay. You’re not taking him yet, you son of a bitch”

[-] [email protected] 23 points 9 months ago

$110k? That's it? Damn, that's some good insurance!

[-] [email protected] 19 points 9 months ago

$110k is just the copay.

[-] [email protected] 53 points 9 months ago

I have a feeling that some nutjob out there is saying this unironically.

[-] [email protected] 41 points 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago)

I mean there are people who refuse medical assistance because "god will heal me"

So yeah. There are multiple nutjobs unfortunately

Edit: idfk how but autocorrect turned nutjobs into buttons.

[-] [email protected] 19 points 9 months ago

Yeah, a bunch of them were Covid deniers who ran to the hospitals when they got sick and clogged them up for responsible people. Buncha faithless hypocrites, just stay home and follow God's Plan...

[-] [email protected] 3 points 9 months ago

When you allow the lunacy that death, and therefore afterlife is a treatment option, well...

[-] [email protected] 20 points 9 months ago

It's called Christian Science.

[-] [email protected] 10 points 9 months ago

Always assume the worst, specially with nutjobs !

[-] [email protected] 4 points 9 months ago

I always see "unironically" and pronounce the "uni" part like "university". Such a weird word.

[-] [email protected] 3 points 9 months ago

Perhaps we are pronouncing "university" just incorrectly. Perhaps in the days of creation of the university it was meant to be a word for "un-diversity" -> "university"

[-] [email protected] 3 points 9 months ago

I have an "aunt" that genuinely believed that one of her brothers would be risen from the dead. Called it the Lazarus effect. I'd be almost willing to bet that she has posted this meme on Facebook unironcally. Probably with some cringy bible verse attached.

[-] [email protected] 37 points 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago)

Alternative caption: why are you removing the tumor I put in there? I haven’t yet received enough likes and prayers on Facebook.

[-] [email protected] 22 points 9 months ago
[-] [email protected] 14 points 9 months ago

What, just because he's the son of God you think his human form is somehow special and immune to male pattern baldness?

[-] [email protected] 10 points 9 months ago

Not gonna lie, this is a bit of a let down for me.

[-] [email protected] 15 points 9 months ago

A God who puts tumors into people for fun wasn't the let down?

[-] [email protected] 7 points 9 months ago

That's just normal God stuff. Doing his own son dirty like that seems special, though.

[-] [email protected] 6 points 9 months ago

Don't blame god. It's from Mary's father's side.

[-] [email protected] 3 points 9 months ago

But god could’ve picked someone else or prevented Mary from receiving those genes

[-] [email protected] 3 points 9 months ago

You are putting a lot of faith in the problem solving ability of the same guy that put his brand new creation in a garden with his biggest fuck up and a yummy fruit tree and said, "I made you dumb, but I hope you understand that this tree of knowledge is off limits to your dumb ass. And don't listened to Mr. Hissy."

[-] [email protected] 2 points 9 months ago

I mean, he already let him get crucified.

[-] [email protected] 9 points 9 months ago

I thought it was Jake the snake

[-] [email protected] 3 points 9 months ago

‘I banish thee, Lucifer!’

[snake leaves the wound and slithers back into the wedding present for Macho Man]

[-] [email protected] 7 points 9 months ago

In this episode Jesus will be played by Michael Keaton.

[-] [email protected] 4 points 9 months ago

Likely inherited from his mum’s side of the family. Looking at you Mary!

[-] [email protected] 18 points 9 months ago
[-] [email protected] 3 points 9 months ago

Griever Jesus is the best name I’ve ever heard for a metal band 😂

[-] [email protected] 2 points 9 months ago

It may not be Jesus, but it's definitely is gods will.

[-] [email protected] 15 points 9 months ago
[-] [email protected] 12 points 9 months ago
[-] [email protected] 5 points 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago)

"How dare you? How dare you create a world to which there is such misery that is not our fault? Instead, you should have created a world of wonder and whimsy...in LittleBigPlanet."

[-] [email protected] 2 points 9 months ago

Here is an alternative Piped link(s):

https://piped.video/-suvkwNYSQo

Piped is a privacy-respecting open-source alternative frontend to YouTube.

I'm open-source, check me out at GitHub.

[-] [email protected] 2 points 9 months ago

How dare you?

[-] [email protected] 1 points 9 months ago

Truly one of the great monologues.

[-] [email protected] 3 points 9 months ago

His Only Begotten Son in there contaminating the sterile field. Brown Jesus would mask up in a gatdam hospital

[-] [email protected] 5 points 9 months ago

Jesus Harold Christ!

[-] [email protected] 0 points 9 months ago

If you agree that God gave us cancer, then you should normally agree as well that S.H..e gave us everything else.

this post was submitted on 11 Sep 2023
1315 points (97.4% liked)

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