Memes

In one of the bathrooms at my workplace, the light timer used to be far too short. It reacted to sound, but not very well, so whenever it switched off, you'd hear me clapping my hands like a dumbass.

Then one day, I had a co-sitting with another guy. And of course, the light went out on us. I was already thinking, great, now I'll get to applaud that guy shitting.

But instead, the guy lifted his leg, stomped a single time and the light went back on. That was the day I learnt that I'm a rookie at pooping.

The real question is when the next guy walks in and the lights turn back on, do you say "thanks" or is that weird?

The lights where I work are far too short. You'll be sitting there enjoying a poop when they turn off. And now here's where the fun begins.

If you say screw it and keep pooping in the dark and someone walks in? Well they don't expect anyone to be in there..except you are...so now you're a deviant dark pooper.

So you have to get the lights back on.

Except the lights are triggered by sensor and it sits on the other side of the cubicle door, and the only way to trigger it is by standing up and waving your hand over the door. You can imagine what the result of that is.

I once ran a computer training course in a room with motion activated lights. Every time I set the trainees an exercise the lights went off. I told them that when it need happened I wanted them all to raise their arms and wave because "many hands make light work"

It amused me, anyway.

The smartphone is your lifeline. It has a built in flash light.

That's when I know I need to grab the wall while standing up as my legs are going to have gone completely numb

This is so real, has happened to me so many times... And the motion sensors usually don't react even to you moving the toilet stall door.. Fucking hell

I'm literally on the can and I see this. totally happened to me before! I was just out of the line of sight of the damned occupancy sensor 😅

The most interaction I've had with a thread on Lemmy and it's about poop while I sit in the colorectal Dr waiting room.

You need more fiber in your diet. Also don't try to push it out it's not good for you.

At previous workplace I changed the timer on the sensor.

It actually takes me longer to pee than to take a shit. I can be in and out of the bathroom in about 20 seconds. I've trained myself due to gaming to be in and out in record time.