That said: I ended up waiting like 3 years for my diagnosis (and I had to chase those bastards every single time for a response),

That sounds this close ->||<- to being some Catch 22 nonsense where they use your success in managing to follow up as an excuse to claim you're not ADHD.

At least they're clean dishes on the drying rack and not dirty ones in the sink!

...says the guy that thinks there's going to be a brokered convention that picks somebody other than Biden.

Still less radiation than coal plants release in normal operation.

Inb4 the "[Choco] Leibniz — [Fig] Newton cookie controversy!"

That's possible, but if that were the case I'd expect there to be a bunch of illegitimate children at his funeral.

I was gonna comment "yeah, but Leibniz fucks!" but then I decided to fact-check myself.

"Leibniz never married, and his funeral was only attended by his personal secretary."

...well, shit. The meme checks out!

It used to be at least three felonies a day when violation of a website’s TOS was a violation of the CFAA (which can land you 25 years).

Did that stop being the case?

conspicuously on the same day as the Wikipedia Blackout protesting against SOPA / PIPA (PS: They’re still wanting to lock down the internet, which is why they want to kill Section 230).

Yeah, they've also tried to ram through ACTA, CISPA and the TPP since then.

Alternatively, for a shop to be economically viable in the middle of a swamp, it needs to be one of those tourist traps with kitschy signs all over the place for miles around.

If you're gonna do that, you can't just have it be a normal shop! There's got to be consequences:

https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/TheLittleShopThatWasntThereYesterday

That's nothin'! You wanna see some weird bombs? Watch this!

Every definitive trait has some counter example that still counts because people “feel” it’s good enough.

There's an aphorism in statstics / science: "all models are wrong, but some are useful." I feel that the distinction between genuine off-road-capable SUVs and crossovers/tall cars/glorified station wagons or minivans is useful, even if it isn't completely definitive. Generally speaking, if it's a unibody vehicle it probably isn't very good off-road, and therefore doesn't really deserve to be called an "SUV."

So does a 2wd “suv” (by your definition) then get declassified?

A 2WD SUV is less general-purpose, but I think they still have enough potential to count (think desert-racing prerunners, which are often 2WD but legitimate off-road vehicles).