152
submitted 1 month ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
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[-] [email protected] 70 points 1 month ago

We found the villain to the no-poop-for-three-days story

[-] [email protected] 62 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

Stuff marshmallows up your butt. The glycerine in them will make you evacuate your bowels within 10 minutes as they dissolve.

[-] [email protected] 52 points 1 month ago

I can't stop laughing from thinking about someone stuffing marshmallows up their ass.

[-] [email protected] 12 points 1 month ago

You've tried it too? I got to 31, then farted..

My girlfriend wasn't impressed.

[-] [email protected] 6 points 1 month ago

sounds like cloudseeding

[-] [email protected] 8 points 1 month ago

I kinda want to try this to see if it's true but also ewww

[-] [email protected] 8 points 1 month ago

Is this speaking from experience?

[-] [email protected] 6 points 1 month ago

nobody:
klysma kinkers: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

[-] [email protected] 5 points 1 month ago

This, plus your username backwards, makes me think this is the voice of experience.

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[-] [email protected] 50 points 1 month ago

Eat a bag of sugar-free gummy bears or a half gallon of sugar-free ice cream. Another option as one other comment mentioned are those unregulated asian slimming teas that have questionable ingredients. The safest and most practical solution is a laxative used for colonoscopy prep.

[-] [email protected] 14 points 1 month ago

Sugar free gummy bears will make you shit your pants in 2 hours. And in 3 hours. And in 4 hours. Etc.

[-] [email protected] 37 points 1 month ago

RemindMe! 6 hours “reply to this thread”

[-] [email protected] 16 points 1 month ago

You asked for a reminder to: reply to this thread

[-] [email protected] 8 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)
[-] [email protected] 8 points 1 month ago
[-] [email protected] 7 points 1 month ago

Orally. It can take 6 hours for a bowel movement.

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[-] [email protected] 28 points 1 month ago

There's this stuff they give you before a colonoscopy. I don't know what it's called but it will get the job done

[-] [email protected] 13 points 1 month ago

Movieprep or kleenprep. I've had both and one definitely worked for me and the other only kicked in the morning off my endoscopy.

[-] [email protected] 17 points 1 month ago

There's these which are prescription only, but you can also down a bottle of magnesium citrate as an OTC alternative.

[-] [email protected] 5 points 1 month ago

Good ol magnesium shit-rate

[-] [email protected] 4 points 1 month ago

And as a bonus, the taste of magnesium citrate doesn't make you gag like the prescription stuff.

[-] [email protected] 23 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

Sprite and magnesium citrate. A dose takes about 30 minutes to work, so if you dilute it in a 20 ounce bottle it should hit at about the 2 hour mark depending on how your body reacts.

[-] [email protected] 17 points 1 month ago

This is the stuff to use, but I don't think diluting will work like this. I recommend taking it, with a bit of sprite 30 minutes before showtime.

Stay hydrated!

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[-] [email protected] 22 points 1 month ago

Milk of magnesia. You can get it at basically any drug store and it will make you fucking BLAST.

[-] [email protected] 22 points 1 month ago

Ok so i think it is cool everybody answers the question...

But why PenisWenisGenius? Why do you need this information?

[-] [email protected] 18 points 1 month ago

Just asking for a friend 😇

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[-] [email protected] 18 points 1 month ago

Salt water flush. You will shit continuously for two hours as your body tries to rid you of a dangerous amount of salt.

[-] [email protected] 18 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

During this window, farts are lies!

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[-] [email protected] 18 points 1 month ago

Hairbo sugar free gummy bears

[-] [email protected] 13 points 1 month ago

They said 2-6 hrs. Not 2-6 min

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[-] [email protected] 17 points 1 month ago

Just take laxatives 30 minutes prior to needing to shit your pants?

[-] [email protected] 14 points 1 month ago
[-] [email protected] 13 points 1 month ago

Just relax homie, you got this. 💩

[-] [email protected] 13 points 1 month ago

You should ask Ted Nugent, he is an expert

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[-] [email protected] 10 points 1 month ago

Cleansing tea from the local Asian Mart.

Buckle up brother. Hope you don’t got plans later today.

[-] [email protected] 8 points 1 month ago

Mainline dysentery infected blood

[-] [email protected] 7 points 1 month ago

Is there a taco bell near you?

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[-] [email protected] 6 points 1 month ago

Improperly cooked eggs or chicken can help

[-] [email protected] 13 points 1 month ago

Depends on where you live, that could literally kill you. Salmonella are no joke.

[-] [email protected] 8 points 1 month ago

100% Salmonella ain't no joke!

Very potentially deadly! I've had it once, got lucky and only went half crazy and bleeding a bit from the inside and out...

[-] [email protected] 5 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

Got food poisoning from an undercooked egg last week. Literally became a human fountain on BOTH ENDS, at the SAME TIME!! Never felt so...... empty inside, literally.

Thanks God it's not salmonella even though it dragged me halfway to hell. If salmonella is worse than that, I wouldn't wish it for my worst enemies.

[-] [email protected] 6 points 1 month ago

Lookup "colon cleansing".

[-] [email protected] 6 points 1 month ago

are you trying to get someone to break off with you?

[-] [email protected] 5 points 1 month ago

This is easy. Google “miralax colonoscopy prep solution”

Enjoy!

[-] [email protected] 5 points 1 month ago

Who are you try to make shit themself while in / over international waters?

[-] [email protected] 4 points 1 month ago

Prunes or, more hardcore, sorbitol candy.

[-] [email protected] 4 points 1 month ago

Magnesium citrate. Take it a few minutes before you actually need to.

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this post was submitted on 11 May 2024
152 points (97.5% liked)

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