this post was submitted on 07 Aug 2023
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Memes

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[–] [email protected] 129 points 11 months ago (1 children)

That would be the dopest snow white ever

[–] [email protected] 51 points 11 months ago (2 children)

For real. I’d actually go back to theaters for it

[–] [email protected] 63 points 11 months ago (5 children)

I'd pay 3 times the amount of a regular ticket to watch the scene where Terry Crews, in a gorgeous ball gown, is dancing with Prince Charming, and when realizing it's almost midnight, flexes his pecs, and yells goodbye before disappearing into the night.

Prince Charming then goes around trying to find the perfect pec flex. Alternatively, bicep circumference would also be acceptable as a glass slipper alternative.

[–] [email protected] 38 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago) (1 children)

Wrong movie plot, but I would seriously watch the fuck out of this.

Edit: Get Andy Samberg as the prince and I will fight outside the theatre in a ball gown.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 11 months ago (1 children)

I'm not sure that threatening to fight Andy Samberg is the best way to sign him into a movie. Then again, I don't know the guy...

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[–] [email protected] 23 points 11 months ago (10 children)

You're thinking Cinderella, not Snow White.

[–] [email protected] 25 points 11 months ago

shhh, he's on a roll man

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[–] [email protected] 12 points 11 months ago (1 children)

How about this: Prince Charming tries to kiss the sleeping Snow White, but she wakes up and beats the hell out of him then lectures him on consent.

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[–] [email protected] 12 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago)

White Chicks II: Bro White

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[–] [email protected] 7 points 11 months ago (2 children)

I haven't seen a single Live Action demake but this would be my first for sure

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[–] [email protected] 85 points 11 months ago (1 children)

One answer only this this thread!

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[–] [email protected] 49 points 11 months ago (1 children)

OP memes, but this unironically would slap.

[–] [email protected] 28 points 11 months ago

"mirror, mirror, on the wall, who has the juiciest pecs of them all?"

[–] [email protected] 36 points 11 months ago

And he'd do it. And be fucking amazing, too.

[–] [email protected] 29 points 11 months ago

No lie, I would pay double for tickets to terry crews snow white

[–] [email protected] 28 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Zach Galifianakis as Prince Charming and I’m in

[–] [email protected] 13 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago) (2 children)

Here's some others I'd be totally stoked about:

  • Eric Andre (he really needs a breakout role)
  • Leslie Jones
  • Eddie Murphy
  • RuPaul
  • Charming Taintman

Edit: Fucking Terry Crews for both roles!

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[–] [email protected] 28 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs: A Terry Crews Rendition

Scene 1: Snow White's Introduction

Snow White (Terry Crews) is introduced as a charismatic and strong character, loved by all animals in the forest. He's strong but gentle, charming, and not afraid to show his emotional side. He sings to the animals with a deep, booming voice, a hilarious contrast to the original character's high-pitched singing.

Snow White: (singing in deep voice) "I'm wishing, (I'm wishing) for the one I love, to find me, (to find me) today..."

Scene 2: Meeting the Huntsman

The Queen orders the Huntsman to bring back Snow White's heart. However, the Huntsman cannot bring himself to harm Snow White, who's flexing his muscles and humming a cheerful tune.

Huntsman: "I... I can't do it. Forgive me, Snow White."

Snow White: (flexing) "No worries, man. Everyone has a hard time dealing with these guns."

Scene 3: Discovering the Cottage

Upon discovering the dwarfs' cottage, Snow White starts cleaning. However, instead of the delicate tidying of the original, Terry Crews' Snow White lifts heavy furniture single-handedly and dusts with a peacock feather duster, all while maintaining a contagious cheerfulness.

Snow White: "Well, this place needs a little muscle love. Let's get to it!"

Scene 4: Meeting the Dwarfs

Snow White wins over the dwarfs with his charm and kindness. His interactions with the dwarfs are playful and endearing, unlike the traditional motherly role of the original Snow White.

Snow White: "You guys could use some protein in your diet. What do you say, tomorrow we start the day with a proper workout and a protein shake?"

Scene 5: The Poison Apple

When the Queen, disguised as an old woman, offers Snow White the poisoned apple, Snow White is hesitant but doesn't want to be rude. He takes a bite and collapses in a dramatic, comedic fashion.

Snow White: "An apple a day keeps the doctor away, right? But just to be sure... (flexes arm)...proteins are better."

Scene 6: The Prince's Kiss

When the Prince arrives to awaken Snow White, he's taken aback by Snow White's size. However, he's determined to break the spell. The moment is played for laughs, with the Prince struggling to lean over Snow White.

Prince: "I... I've come to break the spell..."

Snow White (waking up): "Did I hit the snooze button again?"

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[–] [email protected] 23 points 11 months ago (1 children)

I've always thought this would be a great idea. Play everything 100% straight but the actors are completely miscast. Give me Terry Crews as Snow White and I'll actually go see a movie for the first time in like 10 years

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[–] [email protected] 23 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Needs to be Steve Buscemi.

[–] [email protected] 23 points 11 months ago (1 children)

He'll play the beast and Danny DeVito will play Gaston

[–] [email protected] 14 points 11 months ago (2 children)

Danny DeVito should be the beast, Steve Buscemi should be Belle.

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[–] [email protected] 22 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Man. I don't watch much movies but I'd watch this 10 times in row. If it's a comedy or better...a serious comedy. The acting is serious but everything else isn't.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 11 months ago

I would legit line up at the cinema for this. And I don't like going to the cinema.

[–] [email protected] 22 points 11 months ago

I'd watch, seems better than 90% of the slop that comes out nowdays.

[–] [email protected] 20 points 11 months ago
[–] [email protected] 19 points 11 months ago (5 children)

I wonder how the evil queen would dupe Terry Fucking Crews into eating a poisoned apple. I can only imagine her failing a number of times thanks to his dancing pecs

[–] [email protected] 8 points 11 months ago (1 children)
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[–] [email protected] 18 points 11 months ago

I'm only watching if it's 100% serious. Terry acts as he acts and the entire rest of the movie is as written in the script. Full commit, no comedic rewriting. It's just Terry playing Snow White.

[–] [email protected] 16 points 11 months ago

Classic movie remade starring Terry Crews should be an entire genre.

[–] [email protected] 16 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago) (4 children)
[–] [email protected] 16 points 11 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 8 points 11 months ago

Hats off to you, Potato_in_my_anus, for my biggest username laugh on Lemmy so far.

[–] [email protected] 13 points 11 months ago

If we actually got to try some I might like democracy as well.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 11 months ago (5 children)

I mean if they're going to remake a movie, they should go out of their way to make it as different as possible. I for one would love to see the direction of a film with this casting goes.

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[–] [email protected] 11 points 11 months ago

And just like regular democracy, the owners will show up last second to put their finger on the scale 😞

[–] [email protected] 10 points 11 months ago (4 children)

Who the fuck is Ana de Arm? /s

[–] [email protected] 18 points 11 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 9 points 11 months ago (2 children)
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[–] [email protected] 10 points 11 months ago
[–] [email protected] 10 points 11 months ago

If we can change the complexion of the character, we can change the gender, too! Go Terry!

[–] [email protected] 9 points 11 months ago

For the one that looks most right, Gal Gadot is probably the best from this list. For the movie I'm most likely to watch? The Terry Crews version would be worth it even if it sucks

[–] [email protected] 8 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago)

People would absolutely watch this, you just shouldn't over-expose them to Terry Crews like they did with Dwayne Johnson.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 11 months ago

Undoubtedly!

[–] [email protected] 7 points 11 months ago

I'm only watching if he wins.

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