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Survival at stake (lemmy.world)
submitted 9 months ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
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[-] [email protected] 64 points 9 months ago

Y'all need more fiber in ya life

[-] [email protected] 28 points 9 months ago

My toilet paper is already practically a pillow, how many more fibers do you want?

[-] [email protected] 11 points 9 months ago

It has to go through you!!!

[-] [email protected] 9 points 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago)

Instructions unclear, i ate all the toilet paper.

Wish I hadn’t used it first.

[-] [email protected] 4 points 9 months ago

Well at least it's recyclable.

[-] [email protected] 19 points 9 months ago

I have IBS. Might as well ask us if we've tried yoga.

[-] [email protected] 7 points 9 months ago
[-] [email protected] 4 points 9 months ago

FYI, 'have you tried yoga?' In chronic illness speak means 'can I offer you unsolicited advice with the undertones of presuming that you have not tried to the best of your abilities to cure yourself of an incurable disease that has not even come close to be fully treatable?'

Not saying that's what OP said, just saying thats how it comes off to most non-chronic illness sufferers.

[-] [email protected] 5 points 9 months ago

Ok, but have you tried essential oils?

[-] [email protected] 18 points 9 months ago

Also water. If you eat a bunch of fiber without water... believe it or not, also constipation.

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[-] [email protected] 7 points 9 months ago

No, he needs a squatty potty. I can’t believe nobody else in these comments has mentioned them.

[-] [email protected] 3 points 9 months ago

Fuck, I forgot what a cult following those weird things have.

[-] [email protected] 3 points 9 months ago

It’s not a weird cult following? Humans have been squatting to shit for millennia. It’s just a return to our roots because it’s what works…

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[-] [email protected] 3 points 9 months ago

I don't think that's going to help the lactose intolerance and potential IBS.

[-] [email protected] 3 points 9 months ago

And how do you deal with corn then? 🌽

[-] [email protected] 5 points 9 months ago

Wash it off and toss it in the next pot of chili!

[-] [email protected] 4 points 9 months ago

Corn? I don't remember eating corn!

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[-] [email protected] 43 points 9 months ago

WHO DOES NUMBER 2 WORK FOR

[-] [email protected] 10 points 9 months ago

That's right, show that turd who's boss!

[-] [email protected] 9 points 9 months ago

Yeah, that's it! You show that turd who's boss.

[-] [email protected] 4 points 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago)

(since nobody seems to know, this is a scene from the Prisoner, which is what "who does #2 work for" is a reference to)

[-] [email protected] 11 points 9 months ago

I'm pretty sure this is a reference to Austin Powers, where he's giving the Irish hitman a swirly in a casino bathroom and yelling "WHO DOES NUMBER 2 WORK FOR" while a gambler played by Tom Arnold in the next stall is trying to encourage him on.

[-] [email protected] 9 points 9 months ago

You are correct. But what Austin Powers was referencing was this scene from The Prisoner. Top notch 60's TV!

[-] [email protected] 3 points 9 months ago

The mvp is in the comments of the comments

[-] [email protected] 5 points 9 months ago

I AM NOT A NUMBER. I AM A FREE MAN!

[-] [email protected] 5 points 9 months ago

That's not my bag, baby

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[-] [email protected] 40 points 9 months ago

When you take your pants off mid-shit, you know it’s a life or death situation

[-] [email protected] 14 points 9 months ago

Or when you preemptively take off your shirt.

[-] [email protected] 32 points 9 months ago

Wait a sec... Is it me or did he forget to open the lid on the toilet?

[-] [email protected] 19 points 9 months ago

That's the fighting part

[-] [email protected] 9 points 9 months ago

That's just the seat.

[-] [email protected] 16 points 9 months ago

That's why we call it bathroom.

[-] [email protected] 3 points 9 months ago

Speak for yourself.

I call it Badezimmer but for similar reasons

[-] [email protected] 13 points 9 months ago
[-] [email protected] 7 points 9 months ago

I am convinced that of all the secrets of the world that the elder generations hadn’t passed onto us…taking a fiber supplement is the biggest improvement to daily life.

[-] [email protected] 4 points 9 months ago
[-] [email protected] 8 points 9 months ago

True. Went to a farmers market and bought a bunch cuz they were cheap. Stupid ass me decided to eat then and there. Thirty minutes later I was blowing red lights to try to reach a safe place to drop der UberDeuce. I swore that the toilet was screaming at me for a week after that

[-] [email protected] 4 points 9 months ago

Yeah, bananas help solidify it. They are also mildly antacid. I'll take that over fighting for my life after enjoying a tasty hot sauce!

[-] [email protected] 10 points 9 months ago

Can confirm. Have Crohn's.

[-] [email protected] 12 points 9 months ago

Can confirm. Have Crohn's, and I just stopped at home in the middle of my route because I couldn't hold it anymore...

[-] [email protected] 4 points 9 months ago

Yeah, I have celiac and all I think when people reference epic toilet struggles is “hmm, either you don’t eat any fiber or… you may have a serious health problem”

[-] [email protected] 8 points 9 months ago

I once was really tired in a mall and went to the (public) toilet just to sit my ass down and hide from people.

[-] [email protected] 7 points 9 months ago

Im in this exact position while reading this.

[-] [email protected] 6 points 9 months ago

I’ve had about three number twos in my life where I’ve literally started to feel faint, sweating profusely, and expelling non-solid matter.

It could be fibre or it could be all the pain meds I was abusing, suffice to say it’s not fun.

[-] [email protected] 6 points 9 months ago

Take the corn OFF the cob next time dumbass

[-] [email protected] 6 points 9 months ago

Because you won't eat your fresh veg.

[-] [email protected] 5 points 9 months ago

Oh that's exactly my position the morning after a "Hot ones" evening!

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this post was submitted on 12 Sep 2023
732 points (94.7% liked)

Memes

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